Monday, January 31

Spring cleaning. TO early???

WoW , it is last day of the month January. TIme does fly past quickly. Regina is up and is allready creating memories. She ran out of good stickers and now she is cutting pics out from magazines and cluing them to scrapbook. I guess we need to do some sticker shopping. lol

Gabriel is back in school and he was very lucky to get same teacher and kids he had before. I thought he will threw some horrible temper tantrum , but for my surprise he did not . Great going Gabriel.

AND I am living on a budget. I gave my husband all my credit cards and for return I got sertain amount cash, and now I have to live with that amount until january is over. I really needed to do something about my spending problem. Whenever I felt stressed I hit the stores and bought things I did not need. Of course I bought things I wanted but I did not NEED them. So now I can only buy things that I are NEEDED( food, food and more food). I hope it takes care of my spending problems. (WIsh me luck)

We did more cleaning today - this time we cleaned up drawers and organised our dvd/vhs/cd library/. We also are planning to clean up our closets. I have to threw away my FAT clothes. lol If I don't do that now, I have more reasons to eat , and before I know it I'll be back on size 22.( Yeap, 3,5 years ago that was my size ) Sounds fun ? huh?

Sunday, January 30

Lazy me. :)

I am sorry for the lack on entries. . I have time but same time I dont. I have so much to do around the house and outside the house it is grazy. But it is really nice up here. Home sweeet home;)

We have been organizing and cleaning and messing up our house over and over again. Don't tell Regina and Gabriel, BUT we threw away about 5 garbage bags full of toys. I felt sad to threw some of the toys away but , they don't really play with most of the stuff anyway. I need space for new toys ;)

Regina is doing great. She keeps herself busy doing what she likes to do. Today she has been creating memories. She and Sija cut out pictures from old magazines and she clued them to her little book. Her apetite is getting greater and greater.m Her new favorite food is turkey sandwiches and Starbucks Sugar cookies. She also likes Wahoos kid bowls ( rice and beans ). She laughes more she is more active and she just loves being back home :)

Tomorrow I will take Gabriel back to preshool. He will pick up from where he left off :)

Saturday, January 29

We are Home

Are you as exited as exited we are? Finally we are home. Home sweet Home.
Our flight was pretty good. Looong but good. No bumpy weather. Everything went really smooth. We did had to change our planes once, In Minneapolis. But no big deal. We had our tickets, and Memphis flight was on time. J
I hate airports. They make me so emotional. All the commotion that is going on in them. Everybody is in a hurry, mean, mad. It is just one of those places that causes stress. We did have little incident in Memphis airport. Everybody who knows me well enough , knows that my suitcases are always extra heavy. And most of the time I have been pretty lucky and avoided those 25 dollar fees , if bags are over 50 lbs. Well, today my bag weighed 67 lbs. ( 2 Reginas). They told me that they can do nothing about it and I have to pay that 25 dollar fee. Of course prior entering the airport I was in such a good mood because finally I am feeling soo light that I can go home. And let me also mention that I ONLY had one suitcase. If I had 2 suitcases weighing 30 lbs each there would not have been a problem at all. But since I crammed everything into one suitcase , big deal was made out of it. Finally they called St Jude and problem was taken care off. But of course my mood was ruined and I was in tears. ( airports tend to make me cry. I cry in every airport I enter)
Regina did really well during both flights. She ate a lot. She was snacking during both flights and even ate bunless turkey sandwich( that’s what she calls it) hehe .

Now I have to start organizing my house. Somebody wants to come and help me out.? Huh? One of the promises I made for new years was to get rid of all the junk( that I don’t need) , but I am packrat. I have to keep everything. And saying everything I mean EVERYTHING. I am trying to brake that bad habit and make my house clutter free. With that I hope I also reduce stress. And most importantly, If house is nice, clean and organized , I will know where everything is and I don’t have to worry about looking for stuff to the places where it is not.J So , send me some organizing vibes, or come and help me. ;)

My crew made home before me. They got home on Friday around 3 pm. So , Nick picked us up from airport and brought me beautfiul red tulips( I love tulips).
Right now it is 7.02 am in CA. Sun is shining, view from my vindow is so relaxing and peacful and everything is green. I love my home and family :)

Regina was ready to sleep alone in her room. She did not wake up once during the night. :) That's called growing up ( i guess ;)

AND- i kept one of my mini promises. When people asked me what is the first thing I do when I get home , I told them I take bath and light the candles I did it. I have to mention that My husband made bath ready for me :) OH, It felt sooo relaxing and wonderful. You have no Idea how much I missed taking bubble baths :)

Wednesday, January 26

"Gabes Corner" . My poor child. He is surraunded my suitcases . I guess when he grows up he will always travel "light". lol
By-By see you in CA
We are family. Here we are all together in front of Target House.

Last preparations...

Nick , Sija And Gabriel left to Ca this morning. Now it is only Me and Regina. :) I am doing my last packing and trying to fit all the stuff that is left here to one suitcase. lol I think I can do it. Regina is also packing her suitcase. She has packed and unpacked at least 10 times allready. lol. She is really, really exited to go back home and meet his old friends again. But so am I. I really want to go home and clean my house. I have not cleaned for 4 months, Sija( my sis) did all the cleaning here. :) She is cleaning maniac, she loves to clean (Just like my mom). I am more of a messmaker. I guess that is a nice balance ;)

I payed a quick visit to hospital today. I had to pick up letter that I will give Reginas doctor in CA, and I also got a CD with Latest MRI. I preffered to have the first MRI( where tumor was present), but I guess Valerie was to busy and forgot;). That is ok. I can always go back and ask for it. :o) Yes, her brain looks nice and clean :)

OK. Today is my last day online. If you want to reach me tomorrow please call me (949) 290 6958 .

I want to thank you all for being part of Reginas story. I will continue to write as often I get a chance. Don't forget to check for updates.

I know lot of you are checkin up on us. Please leave us a not that you where here spying on us. ;) We love hearing from you :)

Tuesday, January 25


I happily announce that we fit all our stuff to our car. yeah. Car is fully packed. I am really glad that I don't have to ride back to

Me and nick Went to Texas De Brazil ( restaurant) to have dinner. Food was amazing as always the best in Memphis( brazilian barbeque). Of course I had to eat tooo much, but it was worth it. Parmesan Chicken- the best
Bacon wrapped fillet Mignon- it just melted in my mouth- these were my favorites. But they serve around 15 different meats, and servers sircle from table to table to offer fresh meats whenever you are ready to eat.

Then they have salad/ cold bar. My favorite from there are smoked salmon, marinated jalapeno peppers with carlic, asparagus with strawberry vinnegrete, tomatoes with pesto sauce, sundried tomatoes, mushrooms, bamboo shoots, ... lets just say. I LIKE IT ALL. If you are not meat lover, you will be after visiting this place. MEAT just melts in your mouth- thats how good it is. :)

Nick went back to hotel and sija is out having some midnight fun ;) It is just me my kids and suitcases :D
Find Regina ;O)
One, two, Three and Here goes WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Line came out really well, Even the little clamp, that in many cases stays into vein , came out. :)
I remove dressing from Reginas line before Line " Remover" will do her magic. :)

One, two , three- AND PULLLLLLL.

Today was eventful day for us. Reginas line got pulled. She was such a big girl about it. Nurse came in, I removed dressing from line, nurse but on her blue clowes, counted to three and voilaa- out it was. It took only about 2 seconds and her line was out. She did tear up a little but did not start screaming or crying. I was amazed how well she did. She had to stay still for 10 minutes and then we left the hospital :) I have her line with me, it is in plastic bag.. I told Nick that I will frame it and hang it on Dining room wall. lololol

Regina is feeling really well now. She is really exited to go home. :O) I guess we all are.

Now I have to make sure she stayes dry for 2 days, and in 7 days she can take baths allready. :) SHe havent had a bath for 6 months. Don't get me wrong, she is all clean, besides baths there are other options keeping your kids clean ;)

Monday, January 24


I am counting days. I am. Today my dear husband will arrive and take my car back to CA. Sija and Gabriel will travel with him- GOOD LUCK. They will need that. Gabriel is little chatterbox and will keep them entertained during the trip. lololol

On Sunday( we are not here anymore), Goulds will come to Target house and bring full spa with them. moms will get massages, facials, haircuts, I think even hair colored. And Target house moms don't have to pay anything for it. :) They all deserve this kind of treat once in a while. :)

All Regina does is talks about her Best friend heather. So does gabriel. They are even packing their bags so when we finally go back home they are ready to leave for a sleepower. lol They are too funny.

Sunday, January 23

Sunday- nothing exiting

Carol- I have been thinking a lot about you. I hope snow does not block you going out and doing things you love doing. I wish I could send you some good weather vibes to NY, but weather here in memphis is C O L D and windy. I think I forgot to mention to you that Regina was very happy to receive packs from you. SHe has been coloring and drawing pics . Everybody is amazed how well she colors. I think she even colors better than me. :D

Today I went to Michaels graft store. I just love going there. Right now they are getting all the Valentines Day and St Patricks day stuff up. I love valentines day :D

Regina is doing ok. I think her cold is getting little worse because she tells me that she can not swollow food because it hurts. :( But she tries. :)

Most of my stuff is packed and ready to leave memphis. 5 more days. Oh man. Times goes by so slow now. lol I was surprised how fast these 5 months passed and now I can not wait until these final days pass by. Oh I am so unpatient.

Beth and Heather- Regina told me that she also is very exited to go back and meet Heather. She sayed that she will pack her suitcase and move to heathers place for a while. lol I guess that FOR A WHILE means sleepover. Trust me, Regina is ready to have some Girl fun. Only thing I am little worried is that She is Spoiled to rotten here, and has little attitude problems. I hope that HEather will teach her how to behave well and not argue about every little thing :D

Saturday, January 22


Tonigh was the night that The Pittmans cooked dinner in RMH. Oh man. Before I went there with kids I promised myself that I only eat a little. YEAH< RIGHT. You just can not eat little because food they make is just toooo good. Vegetable casserole, sweet potato dish, grilled chicken breast and legs, hamburgers, corn salad....... and more and more and more......
Before we started this whole ST JUDE experiense I was vegetarian. BUT , you just can not be vegetarian in MEMPHIS. At least not me. I have to experiense this whole new unhealty way of staying healthy. Do I make any sense now? lol

Anyway- food was excellent, desserts were good and kids behaved really well. I feel full and happy today.

Did you guys know that Memphis is unhealtiest city in USA and besides that , rated fourth fattest city in usa( meaning overweight ). And I so understand why it is like the way it is.
Regina taking a brake from walking. :)

Friday, January 21

I dream......

There is nothing much to report. We did not have to go to St Jude today. Instead we just went out and enjoyed good weather until both kids started acting up. ( about hour). Regina is doing pretty well. Her runny nose is getting more runny. I guess she has to be but back on some new antibiotics, because the ones she just finished are doing nothing to make her feel better.
Lot of the kids are down with colds and sinus problems so I think maybe Regina cought something from somebody in the hospital. Her apetite is still very weird. Things she liked yesterday make her sick today and things she liked today will make her gag tomorrow. She is off the TPN and now we have to really , really encourage her to eat as much as possible.

We are getting more and more exited about leaving to CA. First thing I will do is take a looooong bath and burn candles--- AND buy some fresh REAL flowers. I havent had a bath for 4,5 months. I so need one now!! I also have to get some baths salts- lavender, eucalypt, peppermint, lemon. And New candles of course and manicure, and pedicure. I am so ready to leave this place.
I don't mind living in Target house, but I miss all the things I used to do and I took for granted. Now everything I don't have here seems so much more luxorius.

OK. Here I go again talking about myself. But there is really nothing else to report. :)

Thursday, January 20

Who's this girl ????
Just minutes before her MRI.

I am doing my Happy Chicken dance. :D:D:

First I want to apologize for not updating yesterday, but nothing interesting happened;)

Today I have the best news for you. REGINAS SCANS WERE CLEAN :D SPARKLING CLEAN. What a feeling. I feel like a mountan has lifted from my shoulders and I can finally breath:)

Regina is feeling great. She has been singing and dancing . She had lumbar puncture done, but after anestesia wore off , she was up and playing. She is very exited about us going home and her feeling better and better every day :) YEAh, that's my girl.

AND--------- I finally got my wish. On Tuesday Reginas line will be removed. YES. I was so scared to bring up the subject today. I knew what the answer was going to be. NO. But after I explained him and valerie why line has to be removed, they both agreed and on Tuesday Regina is going to be freeeeee. :))))) I am so happy with Reginas progress.

Thanks to Dr Gajjar and his dedicated staff and research plan, to B clinic , Regina is here with us and Ready to take next big step in this wonderful life. I am speachless. Speachless in a good way :)

Tuesday, January 18

It sucks to be me

AHHHHH. Today is one of those" I FEEL HORRIBLE" days. My allergies are acting up. I am all congested and sneeze million times a day. I finally went to walgreens and got myself some benadryl. BUT I forgot one little thing about that powerful medicine. Yes, it did make me feel 10 times better but it also made me so sleepy /drowzy I was unable to walk. About ten minutes after I took medicine I fell asleep.

Regina was taking Benadryl all the time for her medicine allergies and before platelets and blood and it always made her sleepy. Why did I not think about it before I took the med. WAAAAAH.

REgina is doing good. She is playing dress up with my clothes and is all over the place. Her runny nose is back and seems like meds are not working as well as anticipated. Tomorrow I have to drop a note to doctor Gajjar about it.

OH, I think I forgot to mention to you all that Regina is on extra fluids during the night. Because one antibiotic that she is taking is hard on kidneys. She is not drinking as much fluids as needed and those 600 ml of fluids help her keep hydrated.
quote- The liver and kidneys work together to remove Acyclovir from the body. Patients with disease in these organs may have additional possible complications. Dehydration or kidney disease may increase blood levels of Acyclovir, increasing the chance of side effects. Make sure you are well hydrated while taking Acyclovir, or it may cause problems with the kidney.

Monday, January 17

Regina and Gabriel

Quick update.

Regina had audiology evaluation today. Her hearing is getting worse. Her hearing loss is rated moderate. Not the news I wanted to hear but I was ready to take whatever comes. I have noticed that she does not hear as well as before and she asks huh, what, more often.
Her speach went very well. She has little trouble with th sounds but that is ok. She does not know how to for her thong to make it sound righ.

Tomorrow we have no apointments

Wednesday- MRI
Thursday- Spinal Tap.

And maybe end of the week her line will be removed -;)

Saturday, January 15

Porfessor Regina.

Cupcake Heaven.

Yummmm! Me and regina made some cupcakes today. With one package we made 12 cupcakes with 3 different flawors. Regina wanted to have original flawor- she got it, I wanted to have banana/cinamon- so I added some bananas and cinnamon in 1/3d, and 3d flawor is chocolate . Room smells soooo good right now.

Before cupcakes I went to see movie. ELEKTRA. I think it was good movie. My kind of movie with comic book action and poor acting jobs. But action was all good. And if you like Jennifer Garner then 10+.

What I DID not like about my todays movie experiense was that movie theater was DIRTY. YUCK!!! Cleaning staff had not cleaned up after previous presentation and all the popcorn, empty soda cups, papers , straws where all over floors and chairs. I have never seen such a mess in movie theater. I guess my next nightmare will be about popcorn attacing me and I am stuck in one of those empty soda cups. LOL.

Anyway, it was slow day. Regina keeps doing well. She takes her meds pretty good and has not thrown up once. Our TPN mashine arraived last night around 12.15 and after that I was so tired and lazy to move to bed. I fell asleep on sofa.

BTW- Cupcakes are ready now. OH, THEY TASTE HEAVELNY!!!!! With some chocolate frosting on top and vanilla ice cream on side. You have no idea what you are missing :) Better than - you know what.......;) No strings attached. ANd they make you fat - just like marrige does. I am telling the truth, and nothing but the truth

Love Diana

Chips- 300 CAL
meatball with sauce
36 oz of milk
3 bites of ice cream
1 tsp Chocolate frosting and 3 bites of cupcake.

2 meatballs with sauce
14 mini choco cookies-150cal
noodles about 5 mouthfulls
milk 30 oz
cinnamon bread 1/2 slice

Friday, January 14


WELL, About 10 15 pm Reginas TPN pump broke down. I called coram and they sayed somebody will call me shrotly. I am waiting and waiting . Nothing. No call. I called them again and they sayed that they have called me couple of times. Yeah, I checked messages and of course they have called me. But my (^)*%^ phone just did not ring. I waitset perfect hour waiting for them to call me because of some stupid no ringing phone. NOW I have to wait another 1,5 hours before they send me another TPN bump , because this one has to be serviced. Oh boy. Why evrything has to happen middle of the night.

Well, Reginas labs came back positive( on her arm) , and that huge blister is herpes indeed. So Now she is taking antibiotics for it 4 times a day. She is on 4 different meds right now and and total times she has to take them orally 12 times a day. SHe does mind taking them because I tell her that It makes her tummy feeling better( I am such a liar- bad Momma. )

Today Country Cares was visiting hospital LOOOOOOOOOOOOOTS of people and lots of famous country singers( I am not into country music, so I have no Idea who they where, but I was told they are really, really famous. Lol

Then Regina got her monthly antibiotic shot, actually it took hour in medicine room , and it did make her sick , so she threw up because of meds.

On Monday she has speech, audiologi, A/t and E clinic lab check.
19th of January is very important day. It is her MRI and spinal tap day. You have no idea how much I want to forget about all what have happened to Regina and how it has affected us. Even though Regina is doing great I am worried sick. There are nights when I wake up and watch her to sleep. SOmetimes she is sleeping so peacfully it scares me. I try to wake her to make sure she is ok and alive. I don't want to be scared. I know all of us are scared one time or other about loved ones , but this time everything is different. Now I am worried about every step she takes. I am worried about how she speaks, how she looks, when those chemo side effects are starting to show, how well will she develop. How can I help her to make feel better about herself.
There are so many things I want to be answered right now. But only time will show what, when , where , how.

Why it is so hard to live one day at a time??

Thursday, January 13

Short day.

Today Regina had labs drawn and quick visit with Dr Gajjar. :) What surprised me was , Reginas apointment was on time. We were invited in to clinic 5 minutes before her apointment time. That has never happened before. And before I could wink Dr Gajjar was in room and checking on Regina :)

They had to swab her arm ( she still has that ugly blister/ herpes lookalike) that does not want to heal. Well, it heals, and then again after while it starts oozing. Nobody has no idea why it is there or what is it. Maybe tomorrow we know more about it, if not, They will scratch skin off from that part and swab it then. Tara told me most likely they do it on 19th, because then she will be sedated for MRI and will n0t feel a thing. :)

Tomorrow we will have to spend some time in medicine room - some meds she has to breath in. and then we will see nutritionist . Hopefully Sunday will be her last day on TPN :)
On monday I try to talk to DR Gajjar one more time about taking Reginas line out. Only meds she has to take while we go home are oral and line stayes in only for blood tests. I was told that she maybe has to get her first blood test in 2 weeks after we get home. Dr Gajjar told me half joking that how should I feel if everybody will stick needels in me all the time. lol

15 potatoe chips- 150 cal
I slice of cinnamon bread
1,5 Burger king chicken tenders
3 glasses of milk
3 teespoons of Chocolate Ice Cream for breakfast.

Wednesday, January 12

Little confused( edited)

I told you about Reginas tummy problems. Well, I got the results back while ago and in Blinic they told me that everything is notmal. Nothing to worry about. Poop was negative but her urine did show little viral infection, but nothing to worry about. Today Eclinic nurse called and told me that her poblem HAS to be treated with antibiotics and she prescribed some for Regina. She sayed if it is not treated it may get worse. Or come back later on or 100 other things. She has to take meds for 10-14 days and if 2 poop cultures come back negative she can stop taking them. How frustrating.
We decided to go out to eat today. I was hoping maybe regina will eat more if we are out. I was so right. We went to Chilis. She had 1/4th of pizza, ( kids size), 5 pieces of penne pasta with marinara sauce, 3 tsp of chocolate ice cream, 1/3 white chocolate tipped marshmallow, 5 sips of coke and right now she is eating skittles. She really is sweet tooth. I need to make her eat meat. She does not want to hear a thing about the meat. Then we did little shopping and now I am overtired. .Nick is finally back from China. He informed me that Our neighborhood looks great and rain has not done much damage. :) Lucky us :)

Tuesday, January 11

Gabriel 3 years old and Regina 5 years old

They look just like twins. :)

Me, Sija and Gabriel

Soon , very soon!!!

Today was great:) Dr Yusuf finally got a smile from Regina. :) 4 months Regina was hiding her face from Dr Yusuf, and finally today she spoke to him and smiled. :) I think she is happy that we are finally back in E clinic with Dr Gajjar. :) IT was such a sweet moment for me. :) She even got pictures taken with Dr Yusuf and Katie and she smiled( Yes, it is important for me).

Then we saw Dr Gajjar and Valerie. Lot of my guestions were answered today. One thing I am not very happy about is that Reginas line has to stay in because she will be off the TPN and she will need electrolytes, and her blood has to be checked often etc, so Dr Gajjar thinks it is best if her line remains in her for next 3 months to prevent all needle sticking. :( I am not exited about it. I AM NOT. 3 more months away from St Jude , 3 more months changing her dressing 3 times a week, 3 more months of flushing her line every morning. Regina thinks it is great Idea to keep her line in because she does not like poking. We'll see. They are talking about letting us go end of next week if everything goes well. They will reduce the amount of TPN today and monitor her kidneys. There are so many little things that has to be done before we leave.

Of course her ANC dropped , it was 1800 today. And it will take time until it recovers . Everything will happen gradually.

Regina is eating more and more. Today she had whole corndog , pear, chips, 3 glasses of milk, apple juice. And I think she will eat more later. :) Yeah for her :)
Right now I am worried her getting of the TPN , I hope everything will go fine and she has no side effects after she gets off.

We are off to see movie now. We have seen Scooby Doo 2 allready, but tonight somebody comes to Target house and shows it on Target house big screen. :)
THis picture was taken year ago, when everything was fine and world seemed such a fair place to live.

Monday, January 10

Easy day.

Nothing much is going on in here. Regina is eating more and more and asking for snacks. That is great. No hospital today.

This morning I got a haircut. Goulds people come to Target house and give Target house families free haircuts. So I just got tiny trim. I want my hair to grow longer , so I could have extensions.

Then I felt like going to movies. I decided to watch Darkness. I like scary movies and this was one of them. But I was disapointed. Yes, it was scary but I HATED the ending. It felt like I have to come back tomorrow and then they show Part II. HATED it. I really wanted to go to see White Noise but i did not want to wait 3 hours until the mocie started. After Movie I bought 2 scoops of Ice cream for Regina, but she sayed she does not want it and of course I ate it. BAD Diana, we parents are not supposed to eat our childrens leftovers. I just did not want threw 5 dollars down to trash.

And I think that is about it. Really, my life is full of events, but same time nothing interesting is happening.

Hey Californians. How's weather???

Sunday, January 9

My creative self...( not my poem)
I am weird.
Me and Gabriel
While ago Target photographers came in and took pictures for target families. Since I don't have scanner here, I had to take pic with digital camera /. That's why quality is not the best. But pics they took look amazing :)

Saturday, January 8


Today started 7 am for me. I went to gym to do my cardio for one hour. Then 11.30 we went to see Unfortunate Events movie- it was ok, nothing special. Then I did some shopping and my favorite part of the day was visiting RMH , where Lauren King Min. cooked dinner for RMH families. Target house Families where also invited and we payed a visit. Dinner was great as always- very tasty food. :) and atmosphere was fantastic :) I got to meat Debbi who I havent seen for a while and it was nice to talking to her . Sadly I had to leave to soon , because Regina announced she was bored. So we left, and now we are back in target house. I feel full( why I have no willpower to say no to food- desserts, chocolate)

Tomorrow we will have to go to hospital and get our labs. Hopefully they are all fine. Regina is feeling better today. No " poop" problems. All the meds she has to take are making her throw up( antibiotics, apetite stimulants, tummy meds, allergy meds, and antinausea meds- last ones are the only ones that does not make her throw up. I feel so bad that I have to feed them , but she has to take them . :(

Kailen and Felicia- we think and talk about you often. I hope everything is fine with Keilen. We miss you and can not wait to meet you when you get up here .:)

Friday, January 7

LAst day in B clinic

We dont have to go to Hospital until Tuesday, and then it is E clinic with Dr Gajjar :)
Regina is not feeling very well. She has a runny nose and tummy problems. If she poops 2 more times today I have to take her back to hospital and they have to find out what causes her Diarrhea. She also has to take antibiotics for cold and apetite stimulants , because we really do want to get off the TPN. Today she have not eaten anything and she shows no signs of hunger. I told nutritionist lets keep her on TPN over the weekend because I don't think she will eat much during this " down " time.
Her counts are revovering nicely. Everything looks grate. I wish she had attitude makover, because her lately negative attitude is starting to annoy me a bit. Everything is bad for her, people are bad, doctors are bad, home is bad, weather is bad, food is bad, friends are bad>..... MANNER are B A D. I really hope she'll change because enough is enaough and she has to understand when and where, but she just ignores me when I tell her about how to behave or when to say Hi, and you welcome and thank you.

About me, my "scars" are not hurting me at all, BUT I got killer headace. I think it is mostly because I am over tired. Last night I only got 5 hours of sleep, night before that 4 hours. Most hours I got to sleep here in st Jude over this 6 months is 6 hours and that happened only maybe once in 2 months. After we get back to home I really need to get away from all of it for a while. I really do. Just me, nobody else. I want to spend a day in the spa, get a manicure and pedicure, get my hair colored, loose 15 lbs, start eating healhy again( right now I am in vending mashine Diet, and it is not working, lol). I have to start exercising more , take my friends out to eat, give my husband MUCH needed attention, start cooking again( I can come to your house and cook dinner for you, just call me and I'll be there ;) )). THen I want to scrapbook more , have ADULT conversation , eat slice of caramel cheescake, dress up and go clubbing, drink cosmopolitans, bleach my teeth, get my permanent retainer out. And I really want to go to Hollywood and just walk around. But most of all, I want our FAMILY to be family again. And I want to REDECORATE our master bedroom, because it looks horrible. If you check out our photo album(links) then you see what I mean. I want it to make our getAway retreat, stress free zone. :)

OK, OK, this is 1/3 of all the things I NEED to do. Soon you hear about the rest of the list :)

Thursday, January 6

2 more days in Bclinic

I can not belive that on monday we will go back to E clinic( back to dr Gajjar). I told Regina and she asked if it means that No more DR Yusuf??? hahah. And when I told her that that is right she started jumping up and down and clapping her hands. I guess she thinks it is dr Yusufs fault that Chemo made her that sick. hehhe

She is doing much better. After she got her -hopefully- last blood transfusion , she was in all smiles and happy. But when nurses and doctors came in to sing her a song( NO MORE CHEMO), she started crying and told me that they are to loud, She was still cranky from benadryl.

We also saw nutritionist. And Regina is gaining weight, and since now she only gets 60% of her nutritional needs( TPN) , she shows signs of hunger and even eats more than ever before. :) So I guess somwhere in the end of next week , they take her off from TPN. That is great news, BUT, she has to eat at least 500 cal per day. I guess I can make her do that. ANything to get her off the TPN.

About me- today is the day that my teeth get pulled. I am telling myself NO BIG DEAL, but the thought of teeth pulled still scares me. I even had dream about me being without any teeth. And let me tell you, it did not look pretty.

Carol !!! We have not forgotten you. Regina was really happy when she got the blow pens and patterns. She did some great cards and was really happy to try something new :) Thank you !! I hope you got something little that we got for you :)

Wednesday, January 5

Regina with her balloons. :)
Handprint Regina made for BMT book. All the BMT patients get to make and decorate theyr handprint and it is going to be in one big book :)
NO MORE CHEMO. Some of the nurses, and doctors came downstairs to medicine room to sind NO MORE CHEMO song for Regina. She was supposed to get her party on December 21st, but ICU does not give patients that kind of special treatment , and they had no Idea that it was Reginas last day of chemo. So today she got her special treat just minutes after her ( hopefully) last blood transfiusion. :)

Tuesday, January 4

Sija and one of the Grizzlies players.
Who is who???
Hey girl, you want to play with baby???
he is about to jump up and grab my camera :lol

Early mornings, late nights

Last Night Regina fell asleep REALLY late, so did I. Then I had to wake up 6AM to give her meds( of course it did matter to her, since she was sleeping when I hooked her up with sidekick.
Her labs today looked ok. Her hemoglobin is running little low, 8,2. When it is 8 tomorrow, she will get some blood. LOOOOONG day in the medicine room . Usually when her hemoglobin is low, she is really tired and sleepy. It is not the case today. She is all over the place- and all happy :)

We are going to Grizzlies house today. It is Grizzlies house first Birthay and we dont want to miss that. I think some Grizzlies players and dancers show up also, and of course there is Cake and candy ( I can not miss that), and I hope kids have fun. :)
Sija is making up in hope to meet her special someone( I know if she reads this, she'll kill me), lollololololol,) SHe is still single and looking and all the guys she meets are short or married. She needs tall and single ones. OK. That is about it , maybe if I feel like, I post later how Grizzly party was :)

Take care

Monday, January 3

She is healing well :)

Her counts are doing great job recovering. Her ANC was 1100 this morning, hemoglobin and platelets are on rise also :) She is feeling better and better every minute and she even started eating today( elbow macaroni). She is taking her meds really well, no vomitin so far. :) That is my girl. She knows that to recover completly , she has to do whatever I tell her too ;)

Gabriel is being just himself, talking a lot, playing his gameboy for hours and being interested butting together 30-100 piece puzzles. :)

I just want to let everybody know that I care about you all and I care about your kids. NEVER tell me that your kids problems are nothing to compare what I/Regina are going true( for those, who are not batteling with cancer) and you don't want to bother me with your silly problems. REMEMBER, everything is important to me. If your kid falls and hurts her/his knee, it matters. If they pump theyre head, it matters and I want to hear about 'it. If you have headache, or can not keep up with your housework it matters. If you have new boyfriend/ girlfriend- tell me about it. I want to hear good news!!!!! Don't hesitate to call me up or email me what is going on in your lives. I do care. They are your kids, and every little fall, scratch is big thing .
Just be thankful it is not cancer.

Sunday, January 2

I'm so happy,

It is 10.45 and we finally arrived our Home away from home :) Yes, we are in Target house now.
Reginas ANC was 400 this morning. Nurse practitioner told me that , sorry ladyes, but you have to spend here another night. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. She left , and I was ready for that LOOOng night. Then she came back hour later and told me that there is change of plans. She sayed that they will draw Reginas blood 6 PM, and if ANC is 500 or more by then we will get discharged. YES, 8 pm her ANC was 900- wohoooo!!!! She was still on some meds and got her last dose of antibiotics( for today).

She is feeling great and looks really happy to be out of there. She even drew a picture to her nurse whose name was Merrywheater(not sure about the spelling, but she was one of the Sleeping beauty fairies).

I have to give her 3 different kind of meds total 10 times a day. Yuck! Only one of them is through IV line, the others are oral. I am not looking forward those oral ones. I hope she can keep them down!!!

Queen bee with baby bees ;)

Saturday, January 1

Happy new year to you all.

Last night we watched as ball tropped in NY, ( it was 11o'clock local time). Then I drowe SIja and Gabriel back to Target house , waited another hour or so utnil they showed on tv how people went grazy on Beale street( about 85 000 people . THen I played super mario and went to sleep. Then REgina woke up 4 am, told me that she is done sleeping for tonight, started reading her book, and while doing so she fell asleep.

As you can read, we are still inpatients. Her ANC did not jump as expected and her hemoglobin is little low, so we wait here another day before going back to Target house. While outpatients, I have to administrate her Antibiotics numerous times a day. ( I guess about 4 times )

My tooth pain is getting better. But when I start thinking about 6th of January, then pain returnes( I guess I am scared about they pulling out my teeth. lol

If Regina does not start eating until tomorrow, they consider giving her some apetite stimulators./