Tuesday, December 27
Today was -15C cold. Cold, cold cold. Everything is soo beautiful. White, sparkling- looks clean and really peaceful. Regina is doing better, but they do miss usa. We have no interenet connection at home , so kids are bored to death because they have nothing to do. My moms house is really small- just 3 rooms and kitchen. The rooms we live in we also sleep in. So it is grazy 24/7. We also are allready getting to each other nerves......
On a happier note- tomorrow (dec 28th ) is our 7th wedding anniversary. For that we leave kids with my parents and drive to tallin to celebrate. ( tallin is about 350 kilometers from my parents house, it takes about 4 hours to drive there, but it'll be worth it.
Take care and happy holidays...
Thursday, December 22
Tuesday, December 20
My neighbor who works in Post office just told me that I WILL BE THE first person to get package today. So it should be here shortly!!!!!!
Reginas passport is finally in system. BUT it is not in our local post office. It is in Santa Ana distribution center. I have to wait another hour to start making phonecalls before I have more answers. PLEASE, USPS do not let me down today. I NEEd THIS PASSPORT ASAP. Customer service girl does not know whick post office it is. Fingers crossed.
Monday, December 19
I do not know what to do.... I hate this.
Sunday, December 18
Today was busy day. We woke up 9 am. Ate breakfast. I told kids to check their stockings and they did and , oh how surprised they were when they discovered that stockigs were not empty anymore. :)
Then we headed to Ralps to buy some food. And around 2pm we went to our neighbors house for Christmas Partey.
The moment I stepped into her house , my christmas spirit came back. her house looked amazing. She had about 3 snow willages , 2-3 christmas trees, EVERYTHING was decorated and it was done in such a classy manner. Her house was A M A Z I N G!!!!! It was like a museum inside. Beautiful :) We had early dinner there, chit chatted with neighbors and then around 4 pm we left.
Then we headed to Reginas friends house. We exchanged gifts, kids played and I had fun talking to Beth. :) After we got home , gabriel played with his new car for an hour , regina sorted out her stickers and now they are sleeping and I am trying to figure out what have I not packed. lol
I have 2 HOT pink suitcases full of things. One suitcase weighs 56 lbs and other 30 lbs. I have my backback almost ready- it is missing my laptop and camera. I packed Reginas suitcase because I wanted to take along something they have not seen yet because our trip is 18 hours total and if I do not have any good surprizes to take along with me, I'll be in big trouble. lol
Now I ran into another little problem. I have tracking number for Reginas passport ( it is through USPS, BUT it does not work. It is starting with letters EV, but when I check usps letter, non of the tracking number there start with EV. So I think I hav to wake up early to find out what is going on and Why I can not track her passport.
OK. Now good night. I take my acking bones to bed and dream about sourkrout and blood budding.......
Saturday, December 17
So today I logged into passport site and the message I got was this-
Thank you for submitting your passport application!
Your passport application locator number is ......
We have finished processing your passport, and it has been mailed to you.
You paid for overnight delivery. This means you should receive your passport on or about 12/18/2005.
I can not belive this. Yesterday they had no news whatsoever and today. Now lets hope that overnight delivery works. I am beyond happy- now lets just hope that this was not another error.
I think my grandma up there somewhere heard me cry....
Friday, December 16
And I am soooo proud of Regina. She did 2 MRI's without sedations. Unbelivable. She was so ready for it. No complaning, no tears, no fuss at all. She just climbed on MRI table , closed her eyes and fell asleep. And of course , everybody who was in MRI room told us, that even some 16 year olds can not do such a good job staying still. :) And they told REgina that she is the BEST MRI kid ever.lol
Since I did not have a car for my stay, We pretty much hang out in hospital or in Grizzlies house. This time of year there is lots to do. In grizzlies house there were 2 christmas parties with awsome southern dinners. lol First dinner had lots of food- BBQ meatballs, sweet and sour meatballs, chicken, vegetables, lots of different cheeses, fruits , drinks and variety of desserts. It was fun dinner. On thursday the Wilsons( sp?) hotels hosted dinner and after dinner Santa came and gave kids lots, and lots of educational presents. :) I could not belive the rudness of some parents and kids. They opened their presents, ran back and seyed- I do not like this toy, this it a baby toy, I want new toy etc. - I was embarrased for them. Gosh, gifts were awsome, not some cheep toys- those were Discovery toys, games etc. Anyway- it was just great. I even managed to get myself to feel chirstmasy for a while. :) There are good people out there .....
AND we are now home. It felt sooo good to hug my little boy after this stressful week. he had this silliest , cutest, sweetest smile on his face that melted my heart. Sadly I was just way to tired to enjoy it completely, and I did pick up somekind of stomack bug... anyway- I have been huging my kids on and off last 5 hours. I think they will be sick off my hugs soon. :):)
Now everybody - cross your fingers and hope for holiday miracles for us.....
I have been crying my eyes out for about half an hour. I do not remember when was the last time I cryed so much about something that is not even worth crying... I just need one simple YES or NO.
BTW. Nick got his visa :) Thanks to my good friends in Estonia who did everything in theyr power to make his visa process faster. :) Thank you guys.:):)
Wednesday, December 14
NO changes in REginas brain. SHe is doing awsome, she is cancer free!!!
Monday, December 12
Tomorrow 12.00 she has MRI and that is it.
She still is coughing a lot and has lot of discharge from eyes , nose and lungs( she spits out a lot of yelloishy gooo).
Saturday, December 10
Friday, December 9
Tuesday, December 6
Everything is going pretty well with us. Kids miss their dad very much and ask every day when Dad is coming home. I do miss my dh a lot, but only because I need a brake and I do not want to worry about babysitters or parents night out or after school activity places. I miss going to movies and eating in nice restaurants. I miss his clothes on the floor next to dirty laundry basket, I miss cooking for him and I miss his hugs and kisses. ...... I MISS HIM TOO!!!!
There is hope that soon we will reunite again. And hopefully he will stay for at least couple of months. :)
Sunday, December 4
Friday, December 2
Thursday, December 1
BUT, there are 2 important last minute before Christmas kind of things that are pending right now.
#one- We went ahead and applied Reginas passport yesterday. Problem is, I was told that there is a slight chance that it WILL not get ready when we need it. ( SO START CROSSING EVERYTHING ALLREADY).. and other thing... Nick has something MAJOR going on for him( couple of things- if everything goes well, and there is buyer for his company, he does not have to go to china so often..
#two- his Estonian visa application is still not approved.... MORE CROSSING PLEASE......
Tuesday, November 29
I think I am starting to get Pre Memphis Syndrom . lol We will be flying over there on 11th( early morning) and back on 16th. I hate going there this time. HATE, HATE, HATE. On 12th there is little Christmas celebration on Reginas school and 16th is the last day of school this year. She will miss it. :(
I also found somone who will "adopt" Gabriel for a week . I feel horrible about leaving him with somebody else, but I really have no other choice right now. I do not want to take him to Memphis for 6 days. There are lots of things for him to do in the hospital that can keep him busy, BUT,for me, it will be one of the most nervwracking times ever. ( not because Gabe is there, but because I will be worried about Reginas MRI's and other apointments, and with 2 kids and no help at all- I'm sure I'll go grazy..... :)
Parisa- right now I have no Idea how I can pay you back- I probably will babysit your kids rest of my life...... ;) Thank you so much for that great offer. I would have never thought about asking it from you :)
Oh- I think I am allergic to my cat. I can not get myself tested this year b/c of insurance issues, but all the signs are telling me that my rescent healt problems are b/c of my naughty kitty. So kitty has to go. Sooner the better. Kittys Original owner will take him back and keep him. :) So at least I know that he will be in good home. :)
Friday, November 25
It was fun filled day. Day before thanksgiving we went to our neighbors house in Palm Springs. They just bought their second house there. People who know me, know that I am total chicken when it comes to driving to new places. My car has navigation system, but I still get all sweaty and nervous. So few days before our trip I did some research about addresses,and places and how to get from one point to another. etc. lol.
Anyway- our trip started out kind of weird. We were supposed to follow our friends to Palm springs( last minute thing). I was about to take 5 North( highway), when I suddenly hear cops, and fire trucks and ambulane everywhere. Oh boy, I just knew that there was accident on 5. I was so freeking right.
I got a phone call from our friends and they told us to wait for them , because we have to take another route to Palm springs. So we did. I followed them till Riverside- traffic was total bitch. HORRIBLE. I lost them about 6 miles before Riverside mall. My friends husband had business meeting somewhere there and me and Soch with kids just walked around in the mall until he was finished.
So finally around 5pm we started driving again - it was 60-70 mile trip from Riverside to Palm Springs. We followed our friends closely and it was around 7 pm when we finally arrived to Palm Springs. We all were hungry and stopped in KFC. KIDS ate without complaning - That was real fun for me to watch. lol.
-- After KFC we went grocery shopping. We bought food for our Thanksgiving dinner.
__ On Thanksgiving morning Soch baked really good chocolate cake, I made prep. for dinner and after Cake was baked we went to park to play. But oh boy, it was wrong thing to do. IT WAS HOT, and it was around 10.30 AM. HOT HOT HOT HOT. We only played for 30 minutes and it was enought. To much heat is never good.
Then we had simple lunch, kids had theyre quiet time , then played a lot indoors and around 4 pm I made dinner.
Our menu was not traditional at all. Our past week was filled with traditional thanksgiving food , so , I made something else.
-- Bacon wrapped, cream cheese and garlic filled chicken breasts
-- Potato , carrot, cabbage, squash cooked over low heat for about 4 hours.
-- Cream sauce for chicken
--Basmati rice with almonds
-- And Miss Sochys famous Chocolate cake
So , there you go. Nothing fancy. For kids we made pizza. After dinner we played and acted silly. And around 12.00 am we finally hit our bunk beds and fell asleep.
Tuesday, November 22
Sunday, November 20
Regina is doing pretty well. She has runny nose that does not want to go away. Lately she has been pumping her head into things . Falling down, hitting her forhead with car door couple of times, pumping into things. Her poor head must be hurting all the time, but she never complains, so I really do not know if she is in pain or not.
We have been working on weekdays really hard past couple of days and she finally got them right now. She knows exactly what comes after friday and what comes after monday etc.
We also have been working on some other things like- If I ask from her , WHAT MAKES HER HAPPY- she tells me she does not know, or she is always happy- which is not true at all. When I ask from Gabriel what makes HIM happy, he has million answers, he tells me he loves playing with his cars, and eating corndogs makes him happy, jumping makes him happy, playing with mommy and daddy makes him happy etc. Then Regina hears his answers and tells me OH yeah, same things make her happy to. BUT she can not answer to these questions first, she has to have examples.
If I ask from her what is her favorite book she tells me all the books, and then I start asking from her about if she likes scary scooby doo books, or Nightmare before christmas books, or my books etc. She finally gets it and tells me that she likes Dora books and strawberry shortcake books. It takes A LOT OF time for her to think and come up with answer, and most of the times she has no answers for my questions.
She also has become very sensitive to everything. She can not stand if I am right and she is wrong- She gets mad, really mad at me. She listens to me talk and sayes YES mom, and then she forgets it.
EX. She was sitting on sofa. I asked her if she wants milk. She sayed yes. So I went and got her some milk. I gave it to her. She looks at me and tells me that she does not want milk she asked for ORANGE juice.
OR. She is dressed up and I am ready to take her to school. I tell her LETS go Regina, it is time to go to school. SHe tells me , YES mom. And she just sits there and does nothing. SOmetimes I have to tell her that couple of times before it registers in her brain. She finally gets it and does what I told her to do.
Other than that she is doing great. She is pretty happy most of the time.She misses her dad very much and ask constantly when he is coming home to play with her. :(
Saturday, November 19
Last year Regina was admitted to the hospital during thanksgiving and was in pretty bad shape.
Friday, November 18
Thursday, November 17
Chili's Grill & Bar raises $3 million for St. Judehttp://www.stjude.org
Chili's Grill & Bar and its patrons showed their support for the life-saving mission of St. Jude in September by helping to raise more than $3 million during the restaurant chain's national fund-raising campaign, "Create a Pepper to Fight Childhood Cancer." This success was achieved as people nationwide, including those at St. Jude, focused their attention on the tragedy that unfolded in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.
Speaking of Chili's commitment to make the campaign a success, Todd Diener, president of Chili's Grill & Bar, said, "These kids need our help in order to have a fighting chance against cancer and other deadly diseases. We are proud to support St. Jude's efforts to find cures and save children."
During the campaign held in honor of National Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, employees at more than 900 participating Chili's restaurants nationwide encouraged guests to donate $1 or more for the opportunity to color a pinup of Chili's signature pepper. The pinups were proudly displayed throughout the restaurants to recognize the donors' support for St. Jude. In addition, Chili's donated 100 percent of its profits from September 26 to St. Jude to help reach its goal of raising at least $3 million in September.
"Chili's 'Create a Pepper' campaign touches the lives of thousands of children who depend upon St. Jude's life-saving research and care," said John P. Moses, chief executive officer of ALSAC, the fund-raising arm of the hospital. "I know I speak for our patients and their families when I say a heart-felt 'thank you' to Chili's and their patrons for making a difference in this critical fight for cures."
The inaugural national campaign held in September 2004 raised nearly $2.6 million, building tremendously on what originated as a local campaign in Memphis and then grew to a regional effort.
Wednesday, November 16
Sadly, doctors ran out of options and there is nothing much they can do to save them. :(
Pamela has been fighting since March 2004- http://www3.caringbridge.org/tn/pamelahensley
Ashley was also diagnosed in 2004( august) - http://www.caringbridge.org/la/princessashley
Thank you :)
Tuesday, November 15
Friday, November 11
Chicken little was ok movie. It had some funny jokes inside but in overall NMS. I did like the message this movie was sending out to parents. lol Go see, then you'll know what I am talking about !!!
I did not take Gabe to see this because he was preview of this movie( that preview that kind of looks like war of the words) , and he got scared and did not want to go to see it :)
Thursday, November 10
After we got pics taken, we had hour to just shop around. Both of my kids wanted me to take one of those 2 seat fire truck cruisers. lol. They sat in and were really happy. Then They wanted to walk around for a while. As regina started stepping out, her leg got stuck in truck and she fell. Her forhead hit the floor. I am not sure what material was used for flooring but it was rock hard. I grabbed her and we both were crying her eyes out. I was so scared that she cracked her scull open. After 5 minutes of crying, she stopped and told me that everything is fine. Tomorrow her forhead will have nice purple bump , just in center. Oh, I am still worried. Kids fall and hurt themselves all the time. But when Regina falls or something is wrong with her I just get extra nervous. I do not have such a feeling with Gabriel. I am worried, but not psycho kind of worried. Will it ever change? Will I question every cry, every weird wink, every limp? I hate to feel this way. I absolutely hate it. I love both of my kids very much, but Regina always gets more love, more attention more everything. I just hope that Gabriel will understand this all one day and forgive me for not deviding everything 50/50.
Wednesday, November 9
Today was fun afternoon. Regina was invited to his classmates Birthday . So all of us went to Scooters Jungle. http://www.scootersjungle.com/
It is a indoor playground for kids , with huge slides and other fun things to do. Regina and gabe had fun sliding down and then climbing up again. Even I took quite few slides down. I like having fun like this. After 1,5 hour of jumping, screaming, sliding and bouncing it was time for pizza and cake. I think my kids are done with pizza. Everywhere we go it it PIZZA. Seriously. Seems like it is the only food kids eat on birthdays. Pizza and cake. Pizza and cake. No offense ( how do you spell that word?) anyone, but if my kids refuse to eat pizza at your place, then know that they had enough. lol Offer some soup or salad for a change. lol
After that ( around 4.30 pm) we came home, I cooked dinner for kids, because they did not eat anything at all at that pary. Then they played for a while, Regina did her homework. Then I read them few Christmas stories( old fashioned ones) and now they are finally sleeping. snoring, really.
Myself I am doing ok. I think weather is about to change to worse because my left sholder is hurting really badly. It is hard for me to type with left hand. every time I move my fingers, pain shoots straight to my sholder. :(
Monday, November 7
We are back from Dr's office. Doctor thinks that Regina might be coming down with cold/stomach flu. She has been running to restroom very often and had couple of little"Poop" Accidents. :( Her fever is down and she is doing her homework now. I will let her stay home tomorrow to make sure she is ok. :)
Reginas teacher called me today and asked if something was wrong with regina. She has been very emotional today and wanting to participate in any activities. So I went there and picked her up. At home I took her temp and she had 100,6 fever( latest). So Now she has chills, and then she feels hot and chills again. I just hope that this is not flu b/c she got a flu shot on last tuesday. Tonight I am taking her to see her doc. to get more answers what is going on with her. :)
Sunday, November 6
Thursday, November 3
I noticed that she asks me every day What day is it? I tell her what day is it and go on with it. So Next day she ask me again what day is it. I ask what comes after tuesday? She does not know. She tells me saturday or monday, but never the day that comes next. So now for about a week I have been constantly working with her , teaching what comes next and what is before. We do it in the car on our way to school and during her lunch. She remember them for a day- Like Whatever we go over on monday she will remember them for next few hours, but when she wakes up in the morning , she has no idea what is going on or what day is it. :( Gabriel knows all the days, months and he does not mix them up. He has memorised everything. And he remembers
them no matter when I ask it from him. She used to know when is her birthday ( 19th of sept) and when I asked from her when it is, she told me she forgot .
We also read every day. Sometimes she does very well with her words she knows- but there are days she does not recognise word- this, are, they- and there ara days she know all the words. So I really do not know how her brain works. But I know that mine stopped working, because I am running out of ideas how to make her perform better.
Today is one of those days I need hugs from people who care, but nobody is around. So here I am with my cup of decaff and pile of napkins next to my rocking chair... Today sucks...
Monday, October 31
Gabriels class just few minutes before Halloween parada. His school has halloween parade every year. All ( most of kids) dress up for this day and then during the parade they take a walk around shcools playgrownd. They also have halloween party with candy, cookies juices- FUN FUN FUN!!!
Saturday, October 29
Thursday, October 27
Then on a other note- Regina gets upset really easily. Ex. If someone sits on the chair she wants to sit or she has claimed it is HER chair, she will get teary. SHE wants to be FIRST, FIRST , FIRST - so we have to work on that it is ok to be second sometimes. :)
Her teacher told me that we are doing great job raising her that she is doing awsome. That just did it. I started crying. I swear, I felt little embarrased, but I just could not help it. Being a parent is hardest work in whole world. And I guess that I just needed to hear that and it made me feel happy :).
Gabriel is getting more and more social every day. He learns something new every day. His name is long, and he had hard time spelling it out. 2 days ago he could not spell his name without my help. BUT today, when Regina asked from him how to spell his name he spelled it right G A B R I E L T A N!!!! Oh wow. That was amazing feeling. He also spelled fox and cat and dog. He is little slow compare to Regina but he is on his way being a very smart young man. He is something else.... :)
Wednesday, October 26
Today was one of the best days I have had for a long time. :) After I dropped Regina and Gabe off to school I had very much needed conversation with one of the parents , whose son is in Reginas class. :) It was so nice to talk to someone who also has positive outlook in life and our parenting styles kind of match...
Then around 3-45 us and our very good neigbors went to Strawberry farms (Tanaka Farms)to a pumpkin patch. lol . We had so much fun.At first we all went to petting zoo. First thing kids had to complain was the smell. ThenGabriel screamed like a girl because he was afride of baby goats. I thought ok, at least Regina is doing good. Why did I think that way. Next thing I hear is BOTH of them scraming like 2 babies. lol . They both wanted to hold my hand, but I told them NO and I ran away from them. lol I know i am mean,l but hei, these pets were like baby cheeps, pigs, lamas, and others I'm not sure about. Suddenly they both calmd down, and wanted to feed pets( I guess they saw mommy was mean old witch who was not willing to save them from evil goats). lol We were in petting zoo about 30 minutes . When it was time to go Gabriel did not want to go. I was amazed. HE was inlove with those animals. He gave them kisses, hugs and sayed I love you baby sheep. lol
After petting zoo we took a tractor ride up to the pumpkin and vegetable fields were we picked our own pumpkins. Kids also ran around in hay maze, and chased each other. They had lots of fun there. We will be talking about this day for many many weeks to come. :)
Now both kids are fast asleep on their beds. It was wonderful to see Regina running around like she has never done before. She was running nostop for 10 minutes, jumping up and down and constantly giggling. :) She was happy today :)