Sunday, July 31


Regina is feeling much better today. Her cough is almost gone, at least she does not cough constantly anymore. She is feeling better and is much more active. She has learned to missbehave and use her illness against me.
Ex- Gabe and her are playing chasing game after lunch. Around 1pm I told them it is time for quiet time. Suddenly both of them stop running, look at me with sunken sad eyes and tell me that they can not walk anymore because they are sick. They also told me that since they are sick they can not sleep or do quiet time. VERY INTERESTING. I thought when kids are sick all they want to do is sleep . It is 3,25 pm now. THEY have ignored all of my warnings about being quiet in bed. I told them IF they stay quiet for 10 minutes they can get our of the room. But the moment I left the room both of them started mimicing me and I had enough. So now I made them to stay to room and think about what they did wrong. Of course none of them want to think about that. Instead Gabriel is screaming his lungs out and Regina just " rests". If I have to I am not going to let them out until Nick comes home later tonight. I hope they do enough thinking until then. lol.. Nah, I'mnot that bad. I let them out when they are ready to apologise to me and admit that the were wrong. I am ready to let them out when I hear YES instead of NO. I am ready to let them out AFTER they clean up the mess they made during this noon strike. Bedroom doors are open, but they know that they can not leave the room.

We also had little rough morning. We went to grossery shopping and when it was time to leave the car, gabriel suddenly tells me that he is a baby and he can not walk. I took him out of the car and left it next to car , because I refused to carry him in the store. You know what he did???? HE started screaming again, then he threw himself on hot road and started banging against the road with his wrists. it went on 10 minutes. I felt so embarrased but if I had picked him up, he'd do it again and again and again. He is one serious piece of work. I better roll my sleevs up and start working correcting his behavior. ( I started allready, but seems like even being consistent is not working. ) I took away his gameboy, I don't let him use computer if he missbehaves. I read him books, play with his cars, watch tv together, play chasing games, go to park? WHAT ELSE ???
I hope my Dh has all the right communication tools to help our sone with these terrible 4s.

Friday, July 29

Update about Reginas cough.

Reginas cough just got worse and worse and meds just did not work. So I took her to new doctor today. One of those walk in offices. Doctor got Reginas chest x rayed and she has some fluids on her right lung. They swithced her antibiotics and these should take care of her condition. She also has very bad case of cold sore in her lips, on her skin under her nose and in her mouth. She NEVEr got sores in her mouth during the chemo but now she has, so now she has to be on oral zovirax. :( Poor thing, she feels so uncomfortable with everything that is going on with her :(

Thursday, July 28

Back in school

OH. FINรคALLY, i got a brake from this madness that was going on in our house. Regina was feeling great so I took her back to her school. She was very exited to go back and do something more exiting than sitting in home with me. Reginas cough is almost gone, but again, she got those huge cold sores on her lip, her upper lip is completely covered with them. I think I really need to take her to specialist who cures this kind of things.

Last night was one of the worst nights I have had for a while. Something is going on with Gabe. From 8am till 10 pm he was screaming his lungs out. He refused to listen to me, he refused to fall asleep, he refused to do anything I saied to him. He screamed so loud and so much she ended up throwing up. She was terrorising Regina and telling her that she is a baby , and then Regina told him that his feet stink and then both of them cryed. After on hour of screaming and yelling I just broke down and cryed also. Regina asked me many many times why am I crying but I did not have answer for her. I wanted to tell her that it is because I don't know how to handle Gabriel, and I just want to get away from you both for a while, but I just told her that I am sad because I am tired. She gave me huge kiss and hug and told me everything will be allright. This screaming thing is nightly routine for Gabe, We keep our windows open before bedtime and I think all our neighbors heard what was going on.
Today Gabriel woke up happy and smiling like nothing happened last night. I just want to know what is going on in his mind. His personality changed after his vaccinations. ( 25th of June , I think). He is so restless, he does not pay attention, he sayes one things but does other, he is constantly fidgeting, and there is so much more that I have to deal with it. In overall he is good boy but when something like that happens I just don't know how to deal with it.

Tuesday, July 26

My 2 cute "monsters" who thought that my bathroom floor needs to be updated. With little help from watering can and mini duck pool( 9inch one), they poured lots of water to my bathroom floor by " accident" , and thought it was funny when I lost my mind.....

Monday, July 25

Regina is still sick.

She was gettting better but yesterday her cough got really bad. I gave her some robitussin, but it really did not work. She was coughing all night long. Today she had couple of pretty bad coughing episodes when she was coughing about 5 minutes straight and then she was fine for about an hour.
She also has runny nose but no fever. I just hope that it is nothing serious. ( Like I always hope).


Saturday, July 23

Here is gabriel about 3 months old and Regina 2 years old. And I had long hair. Oh my.

Good day.

Regina keeps amazing me with her tetermination. She has been working nonstop for 2 days, doing her writing activities. I'm running out of resources. I think I printed out every single page there is online about tracing the words and sentences. She is getting better and better every hour. :) You go girl :)

Today she has been interviewing me and Gabe about her favorite things. Of course gabriels answers were like this. My favorite pen is where the cars are on, my favorite toy is truck, my favorite stroller is where the trucks are on, my favorite book is with cars, my favorite food is everything car shaped- see the pattern? lol He is funny.
Then Regina asked about my favorite things- she asked what is my favortie toy- I told her it is remote control. She looked at me really funny for about a minute and told that remote control is not a toy, you are not supposed to play with it, you just change channels. lol She is funny also. heh

Then we played some hopschotch( spelling) in the garage, because kids favorite place to play is in the garage. We also played with cars- Gabe requested that game. We danced and it was overall great day. :) Much better than yesterday. Gabriel even listened to me today. :)
Both of them still have runny nose and little cough, but meds take care of that. :)

Friday, July 22

Ok day.

Regina is feeling little better today. No fever, but she still has a congested cough- not very bad cough, just a little one.

I also decided to keep Gabriel home from school which was pretty bad idea. All he did all day long was whine. He wanted to play his gameboy, but I did not allow him to play with it since he missbehaved and did not listen at all. During the nap time he made a mess in his room, did not let Regina to sleep and was very restless.

I also did some"homeschooling" today. I printed out lot of tracable words and sentences and made kids to learn letters and spelling. Regina was pretty happy, she worked hard for 2 and half hours and even made me print out more pages, so she can write more. gabriel was happy first 10 minutes and then he was done.

Now , it is 9.11 pm and they are still not sleeping. I see they are overtired, but they just refuse to co-operate with me. I wish Nick was home, they listen him much better than they do listen to me. :(

Thursday, July 21

Get well thoughts needed.

Regina is not feeling very well. She has small fever 99,9, her apetite is gone and all she does is to lie down. :( She is generally feeling not so well. Outer corner of her right eye is also little red and bothers her .

Gabriel is getting over her illness. His nose is not that runny anymore and he has gained back his energy. He is full of energy now.

I hope whatever is going on with Regina will go away soon.

Wednesday, July 20


We all are home today. Gabriel has ear infection on both ears and i DON'T like taking sick kids to school, so here we are sitting home and messing up our house.
Today is rather annoying day. The street we live on is being updated- they removed old asphalt and now they are redoing it. It is loud, and stinky and every time one of those huge road rollers( whatever they call them) rolls by our house , it feels like earthquake hits. I swear, our house is shaking and makes all those horror movie squakes. lol. It is WAY to loud, but thankfully it only lasts from 7am- 7pm so after today is over we can get out again. We also can not park on our street which means we have to walk about 10 min to get to our car- OR use one of those golf cars communtiy provides people to transport them while repears are going on. It is too hot outside anyway and we are staying in.

Regina is doing pretty well, I have been using some NANNY911 on them and seems like it is working. They listen to me better, they follow rules( at least Regina is, Gabe has long way to go), there are times I have to raise my voice- REALLY rise my voice, and then everybody starts screaming and when screaming is over they look at me like I am some kind of nut and start laughing. Yeah, you got it, they think when I rise my voice it sounds funny. I prefer not to yell, but if after 10 warnings nobody listens to me I put my foot down and do what I have to do to get things moving in this house.

Regina is finally starting to get used to my cooking. lol. Yesterday she asked for Terriaky chicken and today she wanted to have turkey sandwiches. Her and her apetite. Gabriel tastes and eats everything, but Regina is different story. Now that I don't give them sweets anymore, they are much better eaters. :)

They both miss daddy very very much. Every time they missbehave and I " punish them", they tell me that they really don't like me anymore, and when daddy comes home they will tell daddy everything. hahahahah, yeah, right. So as I am learning from them, they think that daddy is much better than mommy, because daddy takes them to the Mall and buys them lots of candy. hiiiihi.

Sunday, July 17

To get to the lake you have to have membership, but since we don't live in that area, we have to have friends who have membership. And thanks to Jill , Regina and Gabriel had fun time exploring what lakes can offer ;)
Regina and Jackob having fun on the boogie board. It was so funny to watch them play. Regina tryed to stay on board, but it was to slippery and every time Jackob made sudden move Regina slid off the board like slippery fish.
Beautiful Sunday :) Our Friends Jill and Jackob invited us to Lake Mission Viejo to have some much needed summer fun. It was fun. At home Gabriel told me he was afride of ocean - I told him it is not Ocean, it is lake, and it does not have big waves. At The lake, he was the first one to run in and get wet. He played in the water nonstop for 2,5 hours. he was amazing, running, jumping, diving, trying to swim etc. Regina was more careful- he took babysteps at a time and made sure it is not do deap step further, she had more fun playing outside building sand cone castles.

update about Cole and Deagan.

Couple of posts ago I asked good thougths, prayers about 2 boys who are fighting for their lives. I am very sad to tell you that both of those boys have passed away. So sad and tragic. It is getting harder and harder to watch, read stories about the kids we knew that are passing away- one by one.

I feel happy that Regina happy and healthy and that she is with us, but with all the recent relapses I'm starting to feel scared and I can not control the thought about what if she is next?? Even me thinking about her getting sick scares me to tears. I just hope she gets a chance to grow old and experiense all the good bad and more good things in this wild, wiked , unprodictible world.

Thursday, July 14

My Batgirl and our friend Devin. I guess Regina is ready for Halloween. Last night Regina and Gabe had a blast in Devins house watchint tw, eating pizza and mac and cheese and plaing with Devings toys. Devins mom wanted to have recipe of one of my seafood dishes, but I was to lazy to write it down, instead, I went to grossery shopping, bought all the things needed for that dish and went to her house and made it for them. :) I had fun cooking and they had fun eating it. :)

Wednesday, July 13

Yesterday ( tuesday) Reginas kindergarten camp class went to Mazda Research and developement center for a field trip. One kid, whose dad worked there explaned us how dream becomes reality. How they first draw the pics, then make mini clay models, decorate them, send them to Japan and if Japan likes the model they make car just like that mini model looked like. It was fun. Kids got to play with clay " add" finishing touches to mini claymodels, color and design car and eat lots and lots of pizza. We also got to see the Mazda they designed for XMen. IT was there on display, but we could not take pics of it. :(

Sunday, July 10

Herby fully loaded.

What a day, what a day. lol. Kids have been misbehaving today. They both wanted to see Herby movie. I thought, what the heck, I can handle them. But on boy, was I wrong. We went to one smaller mall where tickets are only 5 dollars instead of 7.50. It is a cute little movie theater with 4 theaters inside. We got the tickets, got in and stood on line to get popcorn and coke. SUDDENLY- gabriel HAD to go to bathroom. When we first stood on line there were 10 people before us and when Gariel wanted to go to the bathroom there was only O N E person. So I took both of them to restroom. In restroom he tryes really hard to pee, but since HE really did not have potty problem he only managed to push out one little drop. I was mad, soooo mad. We got back online and waited more, because there was new line for popcorn. We finally got our popcorn and went in and found seats. In about 10 minutes into movie GABRIEL wanted to go to potty again. I new he did not have real potty problem . I told him NO bathroom and made him sit on his chair. Minute later he wanted to go again and I had to take him . Same thing happened as before- no pee. He just wanted to get out of theater.
We went back inside and guess what happened?? He dropped all of his popcorn and candy- while sitting on his chair. I was getting furious. I told him, I am not getting new one, so there you go. Sit and enjoy the movie.

Minutes later Regina wanted to go to potty. I was about to scream , I WAS about to have nervous breakdown right there . I took her into bathroom because she really wanted to pee. THEN again we got back in and took seats. Regina tells me she does not like popcorn anymore ( she only had about 10 bites). I WAISTED 8 dollars for dropped candy, popcorn and coke they did not want to have. I really did wanted to slap someone right there, but I kept it cool. We were about 40 minutes into movie when Gabriel suddenly wanted to sit on my lap. I told him no because we are in move and he has to sit on his seat. Then Regina started wiggling around like he had worms in her ass. MOMMY, I AM SLEEPY, you have to take me to your lap..

NOOOOO, NOOOOOO, and NOOOOOO. Sit on your seat and watch the movie. End of story. They managed to watch rest of the movie without any problems. BUT when movie was over I told them it is time to go to home. REGina started kicking and screaming - I DONT WANT TO GO< I WANT TO HAVE COOKIE MONSTER AND ELMO COOKIE. I DONT WANT TO GO. She was about to throw herself on the floor and scream even louder. I dragged her out of the mall, she was still screaming on top of her lungs. People thought I was probably kidnapping kids from movie theater. It was bad. but since she did not eat her lunch, she did not eat her popcorn- simply because she was not hungry, I decided there is NO COOKIE, because she is not hungry. She was screaming the whole time she was sitting on the car and I was driving home . It is about 15 minute ride . I have never, ever heard her scream like that. Not even during her chemo treatments. But I guess, she wanted to have her cookie so bad she had to make screaming point. I DID NOT CARE.
We got home around 2 pm. I told them it is nap time, since they both wanted to sleep in theater, Regina threw another slightly smaller fit but she went to bed. SHE JUST HAS TO MAKE HER POINT. I am not going to give in. I have to handle them alone, I have to do this, to that, go there, stay there, pay these bills, go birthday, handle some stupid healtproblems.
I really hope she learned her lesson today. SHE SIMPLY can not get everything she wants. I am not going to give in anymore. SHe has to earn it, and so does Gabriel. They have to prove to me that they deserve the treats and snacks and toys.
I am drinking my peppermint tea again ( I planted some peppermint on my backyard and now I have fresh calming remedy on hand). We have long way to go. But thins have to get back to somwhat normal. Regina hsa been very mean towards people letting them now that she does not like them or simply hides behind my back and tells me she does not like to talk to anybody just because..... And when I tell her she has to be nice and respectful she tells me she does not care. She has good moments also, but right now I concentrate on her bad side that is slowly overtaking her good side.

I hope after they wake up the are hungry and ready to eat some food- REAL FOOD. NO snacks, no chips, NO sugar, NO CANDY. ALl they get today is carrots and peas and beens. HA. Play nice or next thing you get from me on mail is nice can of pork and beans

Saturday, July 9

Time is ticking away...

Here I am again feeling sad and helpless. 2 families whe were receiving treatments same time as Regina was are slowly loosing theyr loved one.
Cole Walker- he truly is one amazing boy. He has been through hell, constantly sick, infections, constantly in hospital. But here he is still surviving.
His mom and grandma are nicest people to be around . The are alway calm and I often wondered how do they do t

I did not know this family very well, but I saw them often In Target house and in hospital. Daegan is not doing very well eather. I remember we had a talent show in Target show, and he sang one looooong country song with his sweet boy voice. It was beautiful and cute moment. :)
(Daegan's website)

Think about these kids and theyr families today.

Thursday, July 7

what a morning.

Today I volunteered to go to Orange county Natural history museum with Reginas class.So 4 teachers, me and 21 kindergartners took about 1,4 mile walk to the museum. It was long walk, but we made it. Regina did really good walking along with other kids. She did complain that whe was tired but she made it. And then we had to take the same road back to the school. I did carry her about half the time, but it was no big deal. At least she is not that heavy yet( she is about 36 lbs now). Now I am home and resting. She was not very exited about museum because it had snakes in and I was not very exited about it because the old dude, who was our guide had horrible cold( he sayed so), So we tryed to keep as far from him as possible. Now I am heading out to do some shopping. I need some new clothes. I managed to loose 6 lbs within 2 weeks, and my shirts and pants are hanging kind of loose. :)

Tuesday, July 5

Monday, July 4


We lost another our dear St Jude friend today. Claire Tatom passed away this morning 6 AM. We are sad and puzzled. I will post a picture later.
But here is the diary her family kept for her.
Here are some of the decorated bikes from 4th of July parade:)
HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!! This morning we all woke up 8.30 am. It never happens that kids sleep that long- NEVER. So I opened my eyes and started to panic. lol I wanted to take kids to our community park for parade and fun, but since we all slept in we missed the parade. THEN even bigger drama happened- Regina saw other kids eating sugar doughnuts, and when I went to get her some doghnuts from HUGE breakfast table all doughnuts were gone- there was about 10 empty boxes that hold 15 dougnuts. I went back to her and asked if she wanted to have chocolate muffin instead but she started crying and refused to eat anything else. Thank god for our great neighbors- he ( another 4 year old boy) was willing to share his sugar doughnut with Regina. But the morning was ruined. Regina was so mad at people , she told me that people were really mean, because they ate all the dougnuts and did not leave anything for her. lol Then we left the park( it is only 5 minute walk from us) and got back home. On our way home we met some other neighbors and they invited to use the bounce house and huge water slide they set up in the end of the street. So kids bounced for a while and now we are back inside and eating our lunch. After while we will go out again and bounce some more. :) Hope your 4th of July is happy :)