Thursday, May 22
Just a derpressing blog.
sometimes I just need to let it out. I do and i ask you to not to take it personally. I understand that sometimes you do not understand what I am experiencing emotionally and physically I understand that you sometimes ask pretty tough questions and I do not mind answering. But what I do not understand is following. You guys have to understand only one thing- Regina had 2 brain surgeries. She had maximum dose of Radiation to her brain and spine, she had intense chemo which destroyed her hearing and it is getting worse by month. And with that said- You have to understand that Regina does have disability. As hard is it for me to admit, it will never get better. I always have to explain to you why Regina behaves this way, or why she does this, or why she is afraid of you, or why she can't hear you, or why she has sudden outbursts.. YOu think All kids do this, it is just age, OH, she will grow out of it..... You have no Idea how many times I heard that last one- Oh, do not worry, It is just age.. She will get better... Oh, really??? Are you sure??? Do you live with us 24/7 and see what is going on? Do you see how much explaining I have to do every day before she goes to school?
You have no idea ( I know few of you do understand and thank you for that ). IF you see REginas brain up close and personal, and then Look healthy brain- YOU WILL UNDERSTAND. But I do not want to put you threw this drama. You all know how healthy brain looks like. NICE, defined, Perfect...... THEN you see REginas left frontal and there is nothing nice and defined about it. I honestly do not understand HOW SHe StiLL FUNCTiONs tHE WAY SHE DOES. She is amazing and I love her to pieces. Her kisses and hugs make up for all imperfections she has. Her sweet voice telling me I love you Mommy, But I love daddy more when You make me clean up my house makes me just smile.
Anyway, I would go on and on and on and on and on, but I just ask for you understanding. I know this will be not my last post about this issue, but I hope it will be not as depressing as todays.