Wednesday, February 11


(((( 2.12--- stitches are still in, Dr. Loudon wants to leave them alone for one more week )

I love our friends. I love those that are close to us, and those that choose to stay behind curtains , but once in a while let us know that they are here for us:).
I love strangers who reach out to us and ask how they can help. I love those who decide to stay as far as possible, because they know they just decide to do so :)

I also love our doctors- Dr Loudon for performing 4 surgeries, one biopsy and Gamma knife on Regina.
Dr. Gajjar in St Jude treating Regina with hard core chemo.
Dr Dhall and Dr. Finlay in CHLA for being so understanding and doing their best to please us.

NURSES- who laughed and cryed with us:) Supported us. It has been amazing few years. hard, but amazing. Every single day of this journey we have met so many different and interesting people and have learned about love, friendship , courage, survival... I could go on and on and on....

Bell family, Sunshine kids, Starlight foundation, Ride for Kids... LNES,.... .... ... I am going to stop now, or I start bawling like one big baby.

I want to thank you all for being here for us. Thank you for letters, cards. Thank you for hugs and well wishes. Thank you for great food and drinks.

Maybe some of you think that I am not thankful enough or I am ignoring you. Sometimes I actually am ignoring you. There are times I choose to be alone, but there are moments that I need to be with someone.
Sometimes I feel guilty because I feel like I can't be the friend I need to be. I feel like receiving, but not giving back. And it is not the best feeling to have.
I know you guys want to help us, and I know helping other makes me feel good. But I can't help this silly "guilty" feeling.

We have been fighting for 5 years for now and it still seems like it was yesterday we got the news first time. Maybe that is why I still have this strength to keep on going. I know we are running out of options pretty soon. This chemo round is deciding round. MRI is scheduled on 14th of march.... Honestly. not looking forward to it. ..

Regina is sleeping right now:) We are going to CHOC tomorrow to get her stiches removed. We also have home healtcare nurse come in and draw her labs tomorrow.
I just hope that her platelets got a boost and are high enough.:)



Parisa said...

I just wish i was there right now to give you a big hug!!! even if you didin't want it and ran away from me...i would still chase you:)))....I miss you! I miss your moods! I miss your purple hair! I miss seeing you around ,driving, starbucks, school,..i can go on!
I wish I could visit soon:(
our thoughts are always with you guys.

Kathy said...

You may be giving more than you imagine-- none of us can ever pay back really, but someday when the opportunity arises you can pay it forward.

Hugs for all of you. I don't imagine the stitches will be easy.

I'm glad you're home.

Anonymous said...

You have done an amazing job fighting and I`m sure every single day Regina is so thankful for that. You should be very proud of yourself. You have given her the best of the best chances of beating the cancer and I really hope the chemo does it this time!!!!!Be strong and let me know how I can help!

Pam said...

I follow your journey everyday. My heart aches for you and your precious daughter. I think of you both often and hope for healing.

Ave said...

OMG, goosshhh, Di, beautiful words....I can't do or say much, but I'll let you know, that I'm following your blog every day....

Katrina said...

Diana, you are receiving care and support so that you can pass that on to Regina and Gabe. You cannot give and give and give without a love-transfusion and that is what you are getting now. It is hard, especially for us women, to accept love and caring and help. I know - I was there for awhile a couple of years back. It's like a puzzle and all the pieces have to fit together.

My love to you and Regina and your family.
Katrina (Mrs. Soto from LNES RSP)

KMGheno said...

Hope the stich removal is fast and painless - go, go platlets and HUGE hugs.

Anonymous said...

You are a wonderful mommy!!
Regina and you are blessed with a gift of love. Regina is deep in our family's heart.