Tuesday, May 31

Car Missing

UPDATE-- Happened what I thought. They went out to WRONG location. And there they are accusing me taking my car to repear shop. Was it so hard to them to call me and ask. One simple phonecall from Libety mutual would have prevented all this fucking stress I am in now.

I just called Liberty mutual to see how things are going with my car issue. GUESS WHAT. They thought that I had taken car to repear shop because west coast towing did not have my car. MY CAR IS MISSING AND NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
What makes me mad is, Liberty mutual knew on thursday that car wasnot on towing place. WHy they did not call me? I am sitting here , waiting them to give me something, but I get NOTHING???? Disrispect

Friday, May 27


Honey, please come home, we need you now...... June 27th, 2004. That was the phonecall I received from my husband. I was in Estonia - my annual vacation spot. My dh told me that Regina was having surgery, but he did not tell me that it was brain surgery. I backed my bags, Called airline compony to change my ticets - i could not, I had to purchase new set of ticets( 1400 dollars) drove 4 hours to Tallinn, went to my best friends house and waited my husband to call me and update how Reginas surgery was going. I was told that Regina had minor stomach surgery because her intestines were all twisted. So he updated me in every 30 minutes and he was soo calm. In the end he told me that surgery went well and Regina was doing great.

Little did I know what really went on. finally, day afer surgery I started my 18 hour flight back to USA. My best friend J here picked me up from airport. The whole time I noticed they were kind of looking at each other when I was talking aobut Regina and What I did in Est, but I thought I was being paranoid.

I arrived day after surgery 11.30 . In the chapel of Children hospital of Orange County he broke the news." Regina had Brain surgery"
I could not belive it. I did not how to react , I did not what to say, I thought I was having a bad dream, I wanted to cry but I could not. I thought for sure we had lost her. SHE HAD BRAIN SURGERY.
Everything finally started making sense. I knew why she was vomiting for a month, I knew now why she was tired, I knew now why she told me that her forhead hurts. But why her? She has done nothing wrong. She was just being happy but very unhealthy 4 year old. Maybe it was he tumor all along that was making her sick for all these years. Maybe......

Lot of you have heard her story many many times and I hope you are not tired of hearing it, because I'll be probably telling her story to people all my life. I am just so proud of her that she did it. She had that incredible strenght and courage to pull through.
Everytime I told her to be strong and fight for her life she promised to do so. And she did. I still hear her fragile voice telling me " MOMMY, I promise I am strong". And after surgery she told me, " What did I tell you , I was sooooo strong. And she told me all about her head and how good she was feeling and how she missed me.

May 28th, 2004 changed our lives forever. We learned from this experiense, and grew stronger. Me met some great people and made good friends.

Oh, I am bawling like a baby now.

I just want to thank you all for being in our lives. Supporting us and helping us.
Thank you Dr Loudon in CHOC and medical team in ST JUDE for giving our Daughters life back.


Thursday, May 26

Nothing much to report.

Kids are doing great. Regina really is catching up with everything. She is eating well- as long food is something she really likes. Last year while In St Jude I bought her math activity books. And now she is doing it by her own- when she is not sure what the directions to her math problems are , she asks help. She does pretty well calculating from 1 to 20. :)

Gabriel has little attitude problems. Past week he has been very irritable and starts crying easily. When he does not get his way , he flips out. Oh supernanny, Where are you we need you NOW!!!

About my accident- I am doing great. My neck/back pain is gone. Liberty mutual went to towing place to see all the damages done to car and tomorrow or on monday we will know more what will happen next and if car is fixalble.

Monday, May 23

Boom- Yes, I took a picture of my car- I guess I lost my mind for a sec...

I was in a Car crash.

IT WAS NOT MY FAULT!!!!! I am ok, kids were not with me, car is crashed- I was driving on main road- no stop signs, no traffic lights, then some chick decided to make a LEFT turn from crossing street( she had stop sign ). She was supposed to stop there and wait until it is safe to proceed, but instead she decided to take chances and make that fucking stupid move- she was about 18-19 years old. I drowe straight into her drivers door- she is ok because I was only driving 35 miles an hours and was about to excellerate, but still. STOP MEANS STOP-. SHe did stop but why did she decided to make a turn when I was only 10-15 feet away ??????, but oh, I am to out of my mind right now and can not think. I am about to pass out - I think. I have to wait until I get the replacement car ( I called incurance), Cops were very helpful and they understand and saw that it was not my fault. ( I was half a mile from my home) . Thank you for Aliso Viejo police I am safely in my home with my kids :)

Sunday, May 22

Hi guys :)

Life without internet connection sucks big time. yeah, you heard me. Of coure I got lot done, but I felt so isolated and alone. I made a huge mistake by letting some weird asian languge talking virus to my computer and it killed my heart and soul. And then we had router problems .
Leila- my best friend here( right Leila? :) ) is married to a great, smart , handsome dude and he saved me from evil problems I was having. Problem was simple in the end, but it took 3 hours to figure out exactly what was the problem :) THANK YOU HARRY !!!!

Kids are doing great, kitty is doing well, I am back to my normal self and sun is shining above as us once again :). I promise, I will take better care of my computer from now. :) PS- laptop is back from best buy. They did clean it up, and it is working fine now. :)


Saturday, May 21


Just wanted to let you know that we all are doing OK.
Gabriel is fine (it is not cat scratch) and Regina is doing good also (eating and active).
Only thing... Unfortunately we don't have internet right now. That's what keeps me quiet! Hopfully this problem will be solved soon!
Have a nice weekend!
Stay tuned...

Tuesday, May 17

Little troublemaker.. Kiisu is creating great mess around the house by giving out free scratches to sofas, walls, kids art projects and my scrapbooking stuff. And now he is major suspect in something else serious. We wait and see- hang in there Kiisu- you are under the investigation...

Monday, May 16

Not sure what is wrong with gabriel. His neck- mostly right side of neck has huge soft lump. Huge. Last night it was small, but today it grew and it is big. His face looks little more swollen than usual. He does not complain any pain or discomfort. His apetite is down- I guess he feels some discomfort, but he is scared because he knows any pain will take him to doctors office. I allrady made apointment to take him in tomorrow. Until then I I have to live with not knowing what is wrong with him. ( If he had fever then all the symptoms tell me it is mumps, but he has no fever) Just hope it is nothing serious. (())

Sunday, May 15

Sometimes what life brings is not what we want- we have to make choises that are not always easy to make. We have to take one day at a time and one step at a time. Sometimes we take one step forward and 2 steps back and then two steps forward and one step back. But sometimes everything seems to good to be true..we run and run and run and there are nobody who can stop us.... We learn new things as we take those struggling baby steps and what we learn may not always be what we want to know or live rest of our lives with. Walking uphill is always harder but it is easier to stop and think if next step what we are taking is right- when you are walking or running downhill you don't have time to stop and think- we'll when you suddenly stop you may loose your balance,fall and get hurt... but you also may make sudden decision that will change your life better...forever...
My sister and my kids- I am just playing around with my new camera I got for my B-day. Trying to make it take great pics ;)
Take time to explore- We did little exploring today-1.we went to pet store,2 went to park, 3 went to another park, 4 wisited book store- again, 5 bought some food from grocery store.. and more. This is one of my fave pics from today. Regina and gabriel just being nice to each other for a while ;)
No helmet, no protective knee pads- I smell trouble...

Sorry for the lack of entries

My laptop is out. I can not acces blogger from it or word documents. If I start typing my entry it slows down and eventually will freeze my toshiba.. I did virus scan on my lapt. and it has 13 different viruses( one of them trojan), and data miners and other weirdos lurking in. What I don't understand is that my virus deffinitons are up to date, but norton did not detect anything. Right now I am typing from PC upstairs and it works fine, which means problem is in my laptop.

I am not that smart to get rid of all the viruses by myself, and I don't trust this current virus scan I have. What are the other options I have to clean my computers from S**t? Should I call to geek squad and they help me? DOes any of you know how much do they charge?

Thanks for your patience and talk to you real soon again.

PS. Kids are doing awsome. :) Happy and healthy :)

Thursday, May 12

MOMMY, we are really mad at you and we are not talking to you. HMH. Mommy, we really mean it. HMH--- second later- Mommy, we really really want you to dance with us. lol They crack me up when they behave the way they do. They come up with this incredibly weird stuff like we are friends, but we are not brother and sister . We are just good family. OR- We have tiny baybies growing inside us but we don't know when they get ready. I guess they let imagination take over time to time.
Today I had parent teacher conferense in Gabriels schoo.l. His teacher is really happy they way he behaves and learns and she sayed he is very independent which sometimes is hard, because other kids want to play with him,but he wants to do everything himself and take credit for it. the other day teacher had to ask from him some questions about things and life and people. One question was- what to you hear/imagine in your head when it is really quiet and nobody is talking( or something like that). He closed his eyes , listened and sayed- there are lots of car sounds in my head :), and I like those sounds :)

Wednesday, May 11

I love him . He is sooo cute and litter trained by previous owners. I never ever had allergies in my life, not to cats, dogs, mice- I have been allergie free. BUt last night, after Princess desided to fall asleep on my neck , I woke up sneezing and coughing and my eyes were watering- they still are. Time to get some benadryl.....
Our newest family Member - male kitten PRINCESS.

Tuesday, May 10

Looks like fun!!!!!
memories from Friday, may 6th.
Beth, I , Leila and Jill- in some weird way I messed up and saved pic in black and white.
Warm spring wishes from Tans to you all :)
This what happens when you let your guest( under 6) run wild in your house. We thought what we heard was kids jumping off the bed in our master bedroom( which they did for a while), but then jumping turned into something brutal. One of the kids opened my dresser drawer and got out hammer and hammered our bed board. this is one third of damage done. I am thankful that nothing else happened, but starting from next pary, kids are not allowed in our master bedroom. Not even during sleepovers, when they watch tv before they fall asleep). I know it was partially my fault, but my kids know what happens when they touch something that mommy and daddy are forbidded them to touch. I was not thinking about other kids, and I really can not but everything away and lock down. But oh well, I always learn things hard way. But this is one expensive lesson to be learned........ take care , and tell your kids ask first , if hammering is allowed in Tans house.

Sunday, May 8

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!! I am wearing costume named - I AM NOT READY, which pretty much means I am wearing pidjamas lol Leila is wearing Tiarra- sleeping beauty, then me, then Maire- soccer mom- tball mom, Reet- Estonian Air stuardess, and sija mummy:) Rest of the pics later( I just mentions that all girls on this Pic are Estonians :)

Happy Mothers day- and My Birthday fun...

ATTENTINON!!!!!- During the party one of the kids( I don't know which one, maybe it was one of mine ) took a hammer from top bookshelf and banged it against our bed footboard. Damage is done and it does not look pretty. I know who did it will not admit it but ask anyway.

Hi you all or hey guys J

Regina is feeling much better. I think I just have to shop in doughnut shop every day , because the moment I brought in her favorite sprinkled and chocolate dipped doughnuts she started feeling better- Such a mommas Girl J

I had my Birthday Party Yesterday. OMG. First , all of you who decided not to come, you have NO idea what you were missing out. It was the bestestestest party ever- for me J I want to thank you all of you from the bottom of my heart for coming and sharing some fun in Tan Style. I decided to do costume party this year. We had Botox lady- YES, pirates, skunk, skeletons- Disco dudes and groupies , mummies , college students, soccer moms, Renasanse ( sp) costumes, and Midnight priestess, and Chaplin, and Sleeping beauty, Myself I WAS NOT READY. Lol. People got confused when I told them that I was not ready, because I was wearing slippers, and couple of rollers and makeup and hair half done, and of course I was on my bunny jimmies , and when I told people I was not Ready, they looked at me like- Yo girl, what are you waiting for, go get upstairs and get ready. They even offered help in kitchen until I get ready. Lol. What a fun costume I had fooling people . I am soooooooo bad. Hehe. I was totally not expecting presents from anyone, but THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE BEAUTIFUL presents. J (((( Big hug to you all ))) JJJ

Healthy Mediterian Pasta Salad
Salmon with Blue cheese and bacon
Wilted spinach salad with Red wine reduced vinegrette
Rice with beef , tomatoes and shrimp( My dh tasty specialty)
Creative cold cuts, deviled eggs,
Goat cheese terrine with walnuts and chives
Sourkraut with slow roasted pork backJL
Tiramisu/kahlua Cake
Jills devine Chocolate creations- Jill is my best friend here who makes the BEST chocolate candy yet. J
Crackers, cocktails, beer, cider, juices, water, sparkling water, soda, sweedish meatballs, tortilla sausages- you name it , we got it all J Thank you for making this party so fun and special for me J

People danced, sang songs, and made fools out of themselves. Smoke cigars and drank whiskey or brandy . Tequila shots were fired and hearts were broken….(((()))))

Regina and Gabriel had fun playing with other kids and I was so happy to see that Regina was up and running around. She was shy to come down to see my guest, but she and H, and M and exellent time and that what matters. J

I will post pictures sometimes next week, OR if I get rid of this banging head ace I will do it tonight.

OH, I almost forgot to mention- I went to National scrapbooking day and got 22 pages done. This time I worked on OUR album, kids albums can wait, because Diana and Nick need album also. It is 6 PM now and I am ready to do something else, Eat maybe- something Healthy for a while …….

Take care and I wish you all the Best Mothers day ever—Tomorrow, May 8th Is also my Birthday, I think I will go to Mall with my friend and get a pedicure and eat more Ice cream from Baskin and Robins, and do other fun stuffJ You all do the same- Enjoy your day- BE FREE !!!!!!

Thursday, May 5

Regina is still little sick. She eats about 180 calories per day and drinks minimal amount of fluids. She will play for couple of hours and then she will lie down to just watch tv or do nothing at all. Today she stayed awake little longer and draw me a lot of hearts and other things for Mothers day J. Her gums seem very red and swollen and she complains that she can not swallow because her mouth hurts, but I checked her throat and it is not red. Piece as big as elbow macaroni will make her gag. She throws up once a day and mostly before bedtime. I really don’t know what is the problem L

Tomorrow we will have my Bday party and some of our friends are taking kids with them. Reginas Best friend is also coming. If Regina shows no emotions about the people or her best friend then I really have no clue what it is. I suspect that she might be really stressed but then again, I don’t really know. Tomorrow I have to take her to her new school, so they can evaluate her and she if she needs special assistance. The way she behaves now will guarantee that she will get that special help.

I see that she is hurting from somewhere but she is not really complaining, . She knows that pain will take her to doctors office and then blood tests, and then hospitalizations… etc. I don’t want her suffer, but I can not help her if she is not letting us know what is going on . J

We hope tomorrow is better day. J

Tuesday, May 3


Regina is doing much better. She is more active now and eating a littlebit more. Gabriels rash seems starting to get under control. He is still very irritable and stressed.

Myself I am prepearing for party. On friday I will celebrate my 27th Bday. Invitations were sent out while ago and I hope people show up wearing costumes. I dont care if they come as pregnant Britneys ( or 10 different celebs all in once) or silly monekeys- most important right now is that they come all dressed up.

Menu is together and all I really have to do is go to grossery store , by food and prepear it. :)

OH, I am so exited!!!!!!

Sunday, May 1

Tough day

Regina is not getting better. Infact, she is getting worse. She is throwing up whenever she eats anything. SHe throws up even pedialyte. Ntohing stayes in. NOTHING> This is so wrong. SO WRONG. She was supposed to get better not worse. She can not loose anymore weight, she has to start eating and stop throwing up. She does not have dierrhea, but she has looser stools. I wonder if tomorrow is her diarrhea day. Oh man, she is just not drinking enought fluids to keep her hydrated. I emailed her doctor in St Jude and he told me the same think I allready know. keep her hydrated. he also told me to take her to her doctor here if she is not getting any better and she even may need some IV fluids. This is not happeneing. Her MRI was good , so what is going on now??? Did she really get a stomach flue this time? Did she?

I have not mentioned this but in april 2003 she was also hospitalised with dehydration . Doctors did not find out why she was sick( same symptoms- vomiting and loose stools. All cultures came back normal). WHY????

OH, and Gabriel is covered with red ichy skin( thighs, cheeks, joint areas)