Tuesday, October 27
I hate those sweet , cute, loving flashbacks I have about Regina and I. If these were these flashback that I could change , I would not hate much... But still ,..
I can't forget my last serious conversation with Regina. I told her to LET GO so many times. WAY TO MANY times, and she just smiled... But this time, I had more serious conversation with her, because I COULD SEE her struggle, I could see her pain... But she did not listen. Must be something we all girls have in common..
I remember her listening my advice. I remember her eyes smiling for a second when I was telling her about Angels and her real brothers/sisters waiting for her in heaven. I remember telling her about life she always wanted and about her dreams coming true..after ..
She did smile for few seconds,and then suddenly dark sadness took over.
I think I WILL NEVER EVER forget that sad look. Her eyes sunk, her smile left her and sparkle that he had seconds ago was suddenly gone.... She did not look at me, but she said words that I wish she did not say to me.... " Mommy, I don't want to die..."
I tried to keep it together , but I could not. Since she was my child, it was my job to grant all of her wishes, and I was so guilty I could not grant this one.. I know she lives in our hearts forever. BUT I know she did not mean THAT..
ANd I do remember her telling me I LOVE YOU LAST TIME... She had not said anything for few days and when I told her I LOVE YOU, she said it back... My husband was in his office, and heard it also... and that was last time she spoke... 2 days before she passed away.....
I know I will start repeating these last memories many times with you, but these are my last favorite memories with her.
I Miss her very , very much.. Every day is a challenge ...