Monday, October 19

Month without my baby has been one heck of a month.  I want to start off thanking all of you for taking me out for lunches, and listening me, and taking gabriel to playdates, and   hugs..  I have also seen lot of those "quickly turn to your head left or right kind of looks"..  It is just interesting to see, how  at one point few people always greeted me with waves or  HI's,  and now...  But I understand. I was ready for this.
Seems like Gabriel is the one who has hardest time about Regina not being here.  HE constantly talks about her, and protects her when kids say "stupid" things , like lets scare Reginas ghost away from this house,  etc..
I can see saddness in his eyes.   He  also said that he is not afraid to die when he has to one day.. At least he is not talking about dying RIGHT NOW... I know for few of you this may sound alarming, but  not for us. At least Gabriel is talking about his feelings and worries, instead of holding it in.

I miss Regina  more than words can describe.  WHen I feel really down, I just picture her smiling and feel better.
Be patient with me.. I have looong way to go....


Joanna said...

You may have a long way to go, but we are all here with you, holding your hand.

Tiffani said...

I agree with Joanna.... for what it is worth, we are here with you. I know I think of you all the time and I dont even know you. Seems to me you are doing as well as could be expected. You are amazing... in so many ways. Such a great mommy. As always, thanks for continuing to post.

Dymesha Wheeler said...

Know that I am always thinking of you. Like Tiffani I don't know you personally only a few short emails but I want you to know that you are amazing. The epitome of what every mother should be.

Anonymous said...

Dear Diana, what I love about you is that you speak from the heart not many people can do this - I love your honesty - I hope the best for you and your family. Thinking of you all and sending positive vibes. I hope Gabriel is okay I really feel for him (all of you)
Debbie from Montreal

Anonymous said...

Hi Diana ~
My Aunt (69)has been cancer free for 5 years now and we just received devasting news that she now has Brain Cancer (diag 10/20/09). I immediately went to your blog and started reading from the beginning to follow Regina's journey.

Thank You sooooo much for posting. I'm a little more educated on this type of cancer from a REAL person's point of view and procedures that Regina had to under take.

Thank you for blogging, You are helping us all to become better people and not being afraid to express ourselves.

Tell it like it is!!!!! I'm tired of people sugar coating things, afraid of offending people, hurting feelings, etc. because they don't want to lose friends.

True Friends will always be there for you! You don't know me.... but WE know YOU thru this wonderful blog and feel that you are OUR friend. So please by all means if you have to SCREAM IN BOLD LETTERS to us, by all means do so. We will NOT think you are CRAZY, but letting out your frustration and pain that you are going through.

Let us be your VENTING material.

God continue to take care of you and your family. Peace to YOU and ALL! I will continue to read about this brain cancer.

Anonymous said...

I would love Gabriel & Jonathan to have a play date soon. Call me or I can call you for a time to play at the park with Mo! Blessings...Pru

Anonymous said...

Diana,I am so sorry you have to be missing Regina in the first place! is this so?? I was touched by her story so many years back and now cannot believe your princess is not here with you....please know I think of you often. I think of how much the REALITY sucks! How Gabriel should have his big sister at home with him tonight...I am so sorry. AND I just cannot believe that kids are saying ugly things to him. I don't care what people is how you raise your kids that matters...never in my life would my kids be so insensitive. Regardless of the issue...people, tell your kids to be loving and kind and to treat people how they would like to be treated AND stupid words will not come out of their mouths!

Tiffani said...

it has been several days since we have heard from you... .which is ok. just want you to know we are still here. still thinking of you.

Amanda said...

I check your blog nearly every day and read your thoughts and shed tears and think of you often. I wish I could be close enough to take you out for lunch too. ((hugs))