:D

Hei dear Followers :) Thanks for Sticking with me and my messalicious life...hee. Things are not bad, they are just different. Very different. My day may start out so great. HAPPY, smily, danging , working out.. and then.. wa waaa waaaaa.. For example. I am going to grocery store. I get my stuff and head towards cashiers. and then I see DVD... Strawberry shortcake, or BARBIE or Princess DVD. And I feel like letting it out right there... Holding back my tears I proceed to checkout . I place my items to table. Cashier asks me " How are you doing today?" , I look at her, smile and say. I am doing GREAT, how are you doing.... And she tells me. " not the Best morning", but got a do what you got to do... " I just look at her again and tell her. Hope your day gets better...
BUT instead, I wanted to tell her when she asked. " Are you fucking sure you want to know how I am doing? Are you really sure? because if you knew what I have to say, you would not be asking how I was doing after seeing my Daughters fave snacks, dvd/s balloons, books, drinks,... How I was doing.. YOu would be giving me one huuuge hug. Because that is what I need .. right now...

But.. I bite insides of my cheeks, and keep a straight but disturbed face.. I thank them for bagging my groceries, tell them, NO , Idon't need help taking my cart to my car. And see you soon.. .. And I leave and I feel free.. till .... there is something else that reminds me something... something something....
I hate my brain. I hate it. I wish there was easier way to deal with all this. But there isn't and I have to make it work. And I thank my blog and readers for it :) Thank you. For checking in once in a while, leaving inspirational feedback. Sorry , I don't reply to all of you. But I take every message with me, and keep it close to my heart. :)