Tuesday, September 15

Update 4.54 PM. Regina is resting peacefully. Seems like she is finally getting some quality sleep.... Nurse told us to keep her on 6 MG of morphine every hour or so, and if she gets irritable again to give her some Ativan to help her relax.
My mind is blank right now. I was crying like there was no tomorrow, and right now I am somewhat numb.. What is this ? Why cancer is doing this? WHY can't she communicate with us? WHAT is she holding onto? What are we not really getting?


I know you all are keeping Regina in your thoughts and prayers.

Past night was very tough night. Regina was not comfortable and pain meds seemed not to be working. She was very restless and her breathing was restless. This morning I called hospice and told them what was going on. Now I give her 6mg of morphine every hour to keep her comfy. She still has to work hard to breath in, she will have few ok breaths, and then some loud and deep ones.

I hope she is not in pain. She has been sleeping since 9 AM and seemes not, but I don't know. We were also told that maybe today is the day.. we are very heartbroken..

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you all during this horrible day. I pray that Regina is not in any pain and that her breathing stabalizes. God, my heart is breaking for you all. Sending you comfort and love.

Warm regards,

Tish Evans

Anonymous said...

I am sorry
I have no words - may she have peace

Anonymous said...

I am so heart broken - please give her my love even though you don't know me - I am so sorry that this is happening. Peace to all of you.
Love Debbie From Montreal.
XX

Anonymous said...

My prayers and thoughts are with you all and Regina. My heart hurts for you. May Regina feel no pain and be peaceful at this time.

Anonymous said...

Much love and comfort for each and everyone of you!!! Patty

Anonymous said...

It’s paradise where the sun meets the sea
There’s nothing to fear and so much to be...
I keep you in my heart and minds... let kind angels to take care of her.
...

Anonymous said...

Regina..........i am sooo sad for you. My heart is broken. Diana......please give her all my love....i am thinking of her every day . Santana makes me look up this site every day. She is such a sweet girl....big big hugs to all of you
love sandra

Mari-Liis said...

Diana,
Sa oled erakordselt vapper ja tark naine ja ema. Olen sulle vooras, aga oleme oma emaga sinu blogi lugenud ja teie kaekaiku pikalt vahel valu, vahel mure, kuid alati lootusega jalginud. Meie peres lahkusid isa ja ode, moistan seda segadust, viha ja kysimusi, aga ka koikehaaravat armastuse tunnet, mis kalli-kalli inimese kaotusega kaasneb. Loodan kogu sydamest, et saate hakkama, oigemini, tean sinu blogi lugedes, et saate kindlasti, aga soovin teile hingejoudu ja vaprust. Hoidke ennast. Regina, vapper tydruk, on teie yle uhke.
Mari-Liis

Joanna said...

Love for all of you. Kisses and hugs, too.

The ParTea Planner said...

May Angels with golden halos and pink wings fly with a trail of glitter to take Regina into their arms and comfortably lift her into heaven...where there is no pain and no meds.

Praying for all of you.

~Risa

Anonymous said...

Rest peacefully Regina, it is okay to be at peace. Your family loves you very much! Hugs to you all.

merit said...

sending you strength for those hard hard days and hours ahead. My heart is broken reading your blog today. Luv, Merit

Anonymous said...

sending you strength and love - this is not easy and will never be - my heart is broken for you - it is ok to cry... with much love we all have a heavy heart right now

Katrina said...

You say you hope she is not in pain. Trust the hospice people that they have made sure that she is not. Diana, this must be a terrible time for you and you are being torn by so many feelings. Just let all the feelings be what they are. There is no "right" way to feel. Your feelings are your feelings. This is totally unfair. You are being asked to bear something that no parent should have to bear, but you are doing it.

I was with my mom in her last hours. It was hard, but I have to say that it was very special to be with her when she finished this part of her life and went on to something that I know nothing about yet. Actually, it was an honor to be there at such a mystical time. Of course, it was nothing like a mom being at the side of her child at this time. That is the world turned upside down. I just wanted to share the feeling that I had.

You are doing the very best thing a mom can do right now. Be strong, sweet friend. You are capable of more than you ever thought possible.

My deepest love to you and the family. Kisses on the dear cheek of Regina.

Love, Katrina

Jane said...

See et tekkib selline viha ja kysimus on selle traagika,mida Sa näed, tunned ja koged..See on jube jube jube tunne...BEEEN THERE:S
Reginal on hea uni ja see et Teie teete temale kõik paremaks, et Tal on hea...see on see tunne...JA ta tajub seda....Sa ei kujuta ette kuidas ma tahaks siiit EEESTIST Sulle seal toeks olllla.....!!!!!!!!

hani said...

Dearest Regina...

"WHEN THE WIND TOUCHES YOUR CHEEKS, REMEMBER OUR WHISPERS.
WHEN THE LIGHT TOUCHES YOUR EYES, REMEMBER OUR PRAYERS.
WHEN THE SMELL OF THESE FLOWERS LINGERS, OPEN YOUR EYES & WAKE UP.
A NEW DAY HAS BEGUN, AND WE'RE RIGHT HERE WAITING"


Lot's of love to you and family. May God prepare you the most beautiful pink angel with golden wings.

Anonymous said...

I am so so sorry.




Gia

Anonymous said...

My son dreamt about her last night and in that dream she went to school, she had hair and she was having fun. I would imagine this is how things will be once she has arrived to be with God. You're the best mommy in the world and cancer is not fair but she has touched us all in so many ways. We love you all and know she is in the best care possible. God bless you all.

Shelley said...

Oh, Diana,
I am sooooo glad I got to meet my HERO yesterday, Regina! God, how hard this must be for YOU, if I feel so sad myself!! Damn Cancer! Sucks, sucks sucks!! She looked so peaceful yesterday and I hope she continues the rest of her journey the same very way!!! Keep loving on her as long as you can!! She knows her momma is there!
Hugs, Shelley

GraceBeading said...

Wishing you and your family strength during this most difficult time and mostly I wish peace for your precious little girl.

Steph said...

I can not imagine 'today might be the day'....

I am so sorry.

I think of Regina so much.

Diane said...

Dear Diana & family, there is no greater pain than the pain you are going through now. I have been where you are and everything you are experiencing, I have experienced. Regina will go when she is ready to go and if love and determination could keep her here and make her well, I know that she would be, but sadly it is not in our hands. It took me a long time to realize that. I thought that if I refused to let go, then my son would not leave me. I will never in my life understand the reasons for why a parent should have to lose a child and I have no words of wisdom to offer. All I can say to you is that you are not alone. There are so many prayers and love and hearts that are holding you all close. I hope that you are able to feel the love and support from every one of us who have been following your journey. Thank you for taking the time to keep us updated.. I know it must be hard. I cant tell you how often I check this page and the face book for updates. I am here if you ever need to talk and will wait for your next update. I'm sorry for all you are going through.

Anonymous said...

As always, we are thinking of you all, and hoping Regina is not suffering, it's so so hard to think about what you are going through. We love you guys!!

Elisabet and Gunnar

Anonymous said...

Regina has changed my life - Many prayers for all of you
I am so sorry

Pam said...

Like Diane, I too have been where you are-twice. There just are absolutely no words of comfort, but know you are in all of our hearts and prayers-each and every one of you. There is nothing as fierce as a mother's love, and nothing as heart-breaking as losing a precious child. Just absolutely KNOW that you have been the BEST family to Regina-she has had more love in her short life than many feel in a lifetime. I pray from the very bottom of my heart that you all may be blessed with a peace, even through the tears.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry Diana.. love and lot's of hug to you, Gabriel and Nick.... ooo my heart is aching for you right now....

Anonymous said...

I have been obsessively been checking your updates all day. I'm so sorry. Can only say that I'm thinking of little Regina and have been nonstop and your family too. :)

Leah said...

I'm sorry seems so hollow but I am. She shouldn't have to go through this. I simply cannot imagine her struggle or even yours as a mom. It breaks my heart. I love you guys and I know Regina has changed my life. And even how I parent. Life is too precious. I am so sorry this is even happening.

Kathy said...

Peace be with you, oh my dear one
peace be with you, precious child
angels hover all about you,
they protect you, night and day
angels over all about you,
they will guide you on your way...


from Songs for the Inner Child by Shaina Noll. This is the song that was playing when Kyra went to heaven.

sille said...

Mul on nii kurb lugeda Su kirjutist. Ma palvetan teie eest pidevalt.

Deborah Estelle said...

I feel numb too. :(
Not because I do not care but because I am so sorry and sad that this is happening to such a beautiful family. My heart hearts for you guys and it's painful for me to think. My heart beats really fast every time I see a post from y ou... May God continue to comfort and keep you all and surround you with more LOVE than you can process at once. May the support stick around for a LONG TIME and LOVE be with you all always.

Anonymous said...

i am so sorry. my heart is breaking.
love to you all.
xo-tiffani

Anonymous said...

You all have been in my thoughts consistantly - love be with all of you through this - you are wonderful

Anonymous said...

I so sorry for the pain you are all going through. I wish I could make it better.

Love Debbie

Anonymous said...

this has consumed me today. i cant stop checking in.
i cant stop thinking about you and your family. and in turn reflecing on my own life and its current state.
my thoughs are with you.
tiffani

Colleen said...

Continuing to pray. If it is God's Will today then we will accept that and always remember the strength and beauty of Regina and of her family. There are no words at this time so just know that we are praying for God's Will and for peace for all of you. Diana, there is a heaven, this I promise you.

Love, Colleen, Steve, Emma and Ellie Bouchard