My mind is blank right now. I was crying like there was no tomorrow, and right now I am somewhat numb.. What is this ? Why cancer is doing this? WHY can't she communicate with us? WHAT is she holding onto? What are we not really getting?
Past night was very tough night. Regina was not comfortable and pain meds seemed not to be working. She was very restless and her breathing was restless. This morning I called hospice and told them what was going on. Now I give her 6mg of morphine every hour to keep her comfy. She still has to work hard to breath in, she will have few ok breaths, and then some loud and deep ones.
I hope she is not in pain. She has been sleeping since 9 AM and seemes not, but I don't know. We were also told that maybe today is the day.. we are very heartbroken..