Saturday, December 6

Beethovens Big Break:)



We had such a great day today. Regina is part of Starlight Foundation Great Escapes program. They have awesome events for Terminaly ill children who are on treatment currently, or even off treatment. Anyway. Today we were invited to Beethovens Big Break Movie Premiere in Universal Studios. This movie will not be available in Movie theaters. They only have few premiere events in couple of movie theaters. This time almost the whole cast was present. Actors, actresses, Director, etc...
MOVIE itself is FUN. Funny. Kind of like Home Alone 3. Silly jokes, great laughs. And happy ending. SO , if it comes out on DVD, please get it to your kiddos. :) They will love it too:) Check it out :)
THANK you Starlight foundation For inviting us.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1176410/

After that event we hurried over to our friends house to Celebrate Christmas. It has become a tradition. All Estonian chicks, Traditional Xmas food and lots of laughs.

Regina is doing great. We did see REginas Surgeon Dr. Loudon on Friday. He has pretty good plan for Regina, but we still have couple of unanswered questions. He wants to do biopsy before Main surgery, to see what he is dealing with ( something to do with billions of cancer cells). He will biopsy 4 areas in her brain , and it is done by robots... Kind of cool. It will be safe procedure.

HE also thinks that After biopsy, He will be most likely to remove 80/85% of tumors with minor side effects. And if it is successful, then we have to follow some kind of Chemotherapy regimen AGAIN , because without , it will grow back FAST. And instead of 6-8 weeks we will get lot more... Up to a year. Again. NICE plan, but it Will be most likely one heck of a 2009. Not sure IF I survive it. Emotionally it is frustrating to wake up every morning and check on her to see if tumor side effects have showed up. UGH...
That is why, I am kind of giving UP asking lot of questions from doctors. I just need to know WHAT they can do, and I don't want to question their motives or WHY they are doing it this way , or that way. Right now there is no right or wrong. outcome of whatever happens is unknown. Weird world. AND to think I am just 30 years old, and I have been doing since I was how young again?.... I have done it for 5 years. .. ... This has been my job. My lifestyle. Sometimes it just does not make sense ( when My selfish self Is talking). You know what. I want ME time to. Just me, ME, ME... I know way to much about brains, and brain tumors and death, and suffering, and blood types, and genes, and hormones, and genetic testings, and chemo therapies,and different types of scans, and medications... BLAH. AND what is reward of my job again? Still, WHAT IS IT?? More suffering, HOPING that things get better?
Sorry. I am just angry of Cancer. I really am. Sad part is that I am afraid that One day I will be the one who has cancer... ( family history)... I don't know IF I would have so much thrive to fight. I don't know...

4 comments:

Old Lady Lincoln said...

It's amazing what our bodies can do when put in a fighting situation. You are stronger then you can imagine. It has to be hard on your son and husband also. You all need to support one an other. Prayers still coming your way.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you. Can't say much in the way of wisdom, but what you're feeling is normal and is pretty healthy. You're entitled to want me time--who doesn't. God knows none of asked to be cancer parents.
I think of you and your family often. I know this doesn't help, but I am.
Lori

Trulla said...

You have been much stronger than you 'd ever have expected yourself to be. Despite all the ordeals of faith you have managed to come through all those years and kept your family together ... and you still keep going. You will manage 2009, too, I'm sure of that. Your reward? The happy memories and the knowledge that you have done your part honestly and with pure hart. That'll help you to survive and finf peace with yourself afterwards when the inevitable (probably) has come its way.

Better a hard 2009 than a terminal 2008, I suppose.

Sending supportive thoughts and a package of courage and strength your way!

Lots of love for Christmas to your family!

Trulla said...

A couple of typos managed to slip in...

*with pure heart, I meant :), as well as *find peace