I am so weird. Life is weird. I thought I am going to go crazy alone, but I love my alone time. REason why I love it so much is--- Guys are gone, house is still here and mine, I don't have 8-5 job. House is never messy, Refrigirator only has vegetables and liquor in it.. IF I feel like it I just take off and do my thing. If I want I go to beach and I don't have to get people ready for 2 hours. I take my towel and I AM DONE!!!! With Nick and gabe-- Take this, and that, and toys, and different sunscreens, and snacks and then hear hours and hours worth of complaining.. etc... OIH...
SO anyway- I so deserve MY TIME!!!! I am very happy with MY time, my life right now. It is all about what I WANT TO DO FOR A CHANGE :D:D
Other than that I am pretty ok. I miss my Princes like crazy.. By now We would have already shopped for her Bday dress, and bought all dishes and plates, and put together Menu for her party. I miss her beautiful smile and cute giggles. I miss her temper tantrums and " I DON'T like you mommy. I miss her smell... I really do. Her warm touch, her heartbeat, her fuzzy hair, her brown and wise eyes, her jiggly belly, . I miss her so much It is hard to describe the pain I am feeling when I see her favorite things...
I miss her having fun with Her BFF H.
Most of the time I am doing pretty good, but there are times when people mention something that meant lot to me, but NOTHING to them , and they talk about people who I CARE a lot about, and respect a lot, but they say negative things about... Anyway. This life is fucking messed up. ANd I am part of it. I have my role in it. THis circle of Life is not circle at all. It is maze with different routes, and when we take wrong one or are assigned wrong route, we have to deal with it... BUT I DON't WANT TO :( I wan't to smell the flowers and enjoy it...
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