It's hard...

I broke down and cried today.
Regina woke up this morning and told me that her troat hurts and she is weak. Me , of course got really worried . around 9 am she had her another IQ test done. And let me tell you about that test. IT WAS HARD. She is only 4 years old but questions she got asked were hard for me to answer. She had to remember sentenced she had to READ OUT LOUD 6-7 word senteces,( of course she could not do that) she is only 4 years old. She got really frustrated and started to cry. And I started to cry. And after 1 hour some stupid testing we finally got to go and it was time for her radiation treatment.
we had to wait there for 2 long hours. We saw nurse first because I told them that regina complained some pain and weakness. She got some medications to controll that. and then , when they sedated her because she can not lie down without movement I started to cry and I cried about 2 hours. Of course everybody was asking if they can do something to make me feel better and if they can get me something. But I just wanted it all go away and I wanted to wake up and see that it was all one bad nightmare. :(
Finally one of the sedation nurses came to me and spoke at least 25 minutes and It helped. I finally calmed down and it was time to go to recovery room and get her because she had just woken up. Thanks to Pam who's been working in ST jude for 27 years and seen everything( including crying psycho mothers) I stopped crying :)

Now it is 7 pm and I feel little sick. I think I cryed to much :)
Regina is doing better. she had her dinner and dessert and is ready to do some crafts. :)