Regina is watching tv. We had more friends visiting today. She got MORE princess stuff. Princess, princes, princess princess- PINK PINK purple PINK. Don't get me wrong. I love pink and purple and Red. But to much on same time is just TOOOO MUCH PINK!!!! And I think this PINK mania Is making me hungri. I was down to 135 lbs. Now, within a month I gained 5 lbs. I want to go to gym, but I just have no positive enerty to do so. I was gym junkie. I went there every day, I worked out with trainer . I, I , I , I . But now I need to think about her. And eventually my well being is not so important anymore.
My sweet little pink princess needs more attention and care than ever before. I think I'm stressing out way to much about everything. I think about FUTURE, and not knowing what will happen in 1, 2....6 months scares me. I don't like to live in darkness. I want to KNOW now. I want to know why her. I demand to know why not me. Somebody said that god punishes our children for our mistakes? I just want to know what have I done wrong so far? I love her to much? Is that the case??