Thursday, February 25
I miss my Cupcake Princess.
I miss my Baking Buddy Regina. I really do. I remember our last time baking together. She had already lost ability to use her right hand and struggled to stir her cupcake dough. I had to help her. BUT she did it. I remember how she used her left hand and placed paper cupcake liners into pan. I remember helping her back to her sofa where she patiently waited cupcakes to be ready. I remember her eating 3-4 at a time ( she was on steroids),.. And that was last time she ever baked of prepared us something. . I have baked cupcakes once since then. It was very hard thing for me to do.****
I have not felt like writing. I think about writing, I have opened up this blog many time and type couple of sentences but then I erase it. I have lot to say, I HAVE lot in my mind and I wish I was in happier better place, but I am not. I am still very broken inside. Still hurting, still crying and holding back tears when I am at public place and something reminds me of Regina. I avoid going to LNES because I see "her Friends", I avoid people because I feel like I can't handle hugs and we are thinking of you comments...I do fun things and GO OUT, but oftentimes instead of smiling I wanted to cry..