Sunday, March 15

We all need a good laugh once in a while.

Before I copy and past whole list of silly instructions how to use things I just let you know that Miss Regina is doing wonderful right now :) Regina is eating everything on site. Especially Tortilla chips with Mild salsa between her 3 main meals. She drinks 8 cups of warm milk per day and few more at night. Gives me lots of hugs and kisses and wants to plant whole backyard full of flowers, so she could pick them when they are blooming :) She also wishes she could go to Estonia again, because she thinks food in Estonia tastes better . YUP. All we do is talk food, watch food network, chop and bake and dice and slice.. :)
Well, the way I see it, things are good for now... But everything will change again on around 18th of March.

Now , laugh away...

On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestions: Defrost.

Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down.

On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.

On most brands of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

On a Swedish chain saw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

On a toboggan:
Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.

On a knife sharpener:
Caution: knives are sharp.

On shin pads for cyclists:
Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

On a take away coffee cup:
Caution: Hot beverages are hot.

Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.

In a microwave oven manual:
Do not use for drying pets.

On the back of a pilot's seat in a Nato aircraft:
Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.

On the bottom of a cola bottle:
Do not open here.

On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
This broom does not actually fly.

On a box of aspirin:
Do not take if allergic to aspirin.

On a bottle of laundry detergent:
Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.

On a muffin packet:
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.

In a kettle instruction manual:
The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON' position.

On a ketchup bottle:
Instructions: Put on food.

On a bottle of rum:
Open bottle before drinking.

A car park sign:
Entrance only. Do not enter.

A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
Beware of people.

Rules on a tram in Prague:
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.

Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
Take care: new non-slip surface.

On a can of air freshener:
For use by trained personnel only.

On a bottle of baby lotion:
Keep away from children.

On a pair of socks bought in egypt:
Do not wash.

On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
Some assembly required.

On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
May irritate eyes.

On a Frisbee:
Warning: may contain small parts.

In a car handbook:
In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.

On a packet of cashew nut pieces:
Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.

Directions for mosquito repellant:
Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.

On a birthday card for a one year old:
Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.

In a hotel bedroom:
Please do not turn on TV except when in use.

In a lift in a Japanese hotel:
Push this button in case anything happens.

On a toilet cleaning brush:
Do not use orally.

On a can of Spray paint:
Do not spray in your face.

On a TV remote:
Not Dishwasher safe.

On a blowtorch:
Not used for drying hair.

On a washing machine inn a launderette:
No small children.

On a bottle of hair dye:
Do not use as Ice Cream topping.

On a push along lawn mower:
Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.

On a box of fireworks:
Do not put in mouth.

On the packaging for a wrist watch:
Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.

In a dishwasher manual:
Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.

On a toaster:
Do not use underwater.

On a mattress:
Do not attempt to swallow.


cbgrfx said...

Some of those warnings are so silly and ridiculous. Thanks for the laugh.

We will visulaize a good report on the 18th. Regina is so strong and we continue to pray and send good thoughts for her recovery and healing.

Enjoy each day and send some tortillas our way!

XO- Colleen & Ellie

Patty said...

So HAPPY she's doing well at the moment. Hope it won't change after the 18th.

Our youngest Granddaughter also likes to watch the Food Netwoork.

Doesn't it make you wonder what kind of idiots the companies think their consumers are? But I guess they want to make sure everything that could go wrong has been covered in their instructions/directions.

Have a great day and Happy St. Patrick's Day, wear something green so you don't get pinched.

shelley said...

God, I love your spunkiness! And I am always hoping for the BEST news ever when I check in on sweet, sweet Regina who has been through more in her short years than some of us will in 2 lifetimes!! You are such a terrific MOM---Regina is very lucky in that way!!! :)

Anonymous said...

thinking of you today and hoping all is well!