Sunday, November 15

:)





I am so sorry for not updating. As much as I love updating every day, there are times I don't want to let you know how down I feel at times. I don't want you to feel down. I want you to be happy I want you to remember Regina at her best :) SMiling, full of cute attitude . I want you to remember her mysterious glow. YES... She was always glowing. :) I miss seeing that glowing Regina around me.
There are times when I drive and I have to turn radio OFF when some songs start playing . ANd I drive in complete silence for 15min to whatever.. And at that time I manage to not to think. I just drive... But there are times I click 6 on my cd player turn the voume UP as loud as I can and I just sing and sing and sing until I have no voice left... I just let it out. There are times I see people looking at me like. WTF IS WRONG WITH HER??? But who cares:) When I do LET IT OUT I feel good :) I feel powerful, I feel like I can move on I can do things and I can be free. I should not be feeling quilty, and sad all the time AND I don't anymore. I miss Regina, but I know she will never be back and I have accepted that . I think of her often. Now I CAN go to stores and walk by girls clothes departement without tearing up. :) I can talk about her without tearing up. I am so proud of myself that I was her mom :) She is one of the best things ever happened to us :)

And now Gabriel. He is cutest "man" ever. Every time I tear up ( not that often anymore), he would ask me -- Mommy, why are you crying. And he does bring me water also, because I think that is how he thinks he can help me :) AND I LOVE IT :) He makes me smile and laugh with his silly jokes.

This is bad what I am going to say but.. I have to..
Gabriel was missbehaving and Nick told him that IF HE DOES not listen to him, he will talk to His teacher about it.... Gabriels respnse...--- I WILL TELL THE WHOLE WORLD THAT YOU KISSED MOMMY!!!!!! lol. I think it is the cutest thing ever :)

AGAIN, I want to thank you for checking on us, helping me with Gabriel, listening and just nodding instead of suggesting something that MIGHT work....
. I am thankful for you all. I am thankful that you have been so patient with me and with my crap.:)
Let me know once in a while how you are doing :)

7 comments:

Tiffani said...

1. YAY for the smiley face title!
2. YAY for Nick being home!
3. YAY for the smile I see on your face!

What a great update from you! BUT also know that we are here for you through the good and bad. I for one will always remember Regina for the princess she is. I would also like to be here for momma when she needs it. So please vent to us if you need to.

I love the pics, especially the first one! You are adorable!

Thanks for sharing. I was wondering about you!

Much love - Tiffani

KMGheno said...

D - Thanks for the update, just love the pics.

Patty said...

Wonderful update. You're coming right along nicely. There are going to be days that are harder than others. That's to be expected. But always remember, you were and are an awesome Mother and wife. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family.

The ParTea Planner said...

Just wanted to say hey. I still check in on you....

Amanda said...

So wonderful to read this update. You move me to tears every time I visit your blog, but I had happy tears this time, too and I'm glad to know that you're doing a little better. You're so strong!!

cherie said...

Glad Nick is home now. My hubby came home last week as well. George and Gerald were so happy to see daddy.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Cherie

Rachel said...

I know I am late... ;) I refound your link via Leah's blog. I think Gabe is just too darn tootin cute. And I love the photos you post!

Just vent as you need to. If you ever need to talk, I am a phone call away.