November.

Oh, Happy Halloween to you all.  IT was one of favorite holidays for REgina, since she could dress up and act all silly :)

Lot of time has passed since my last post.  I want to thank you all who thought about us, and  sent us notes and emails telling us that they think about Regina and us:) Thank you :) We appreciate it.

..We still live in Hangzhou and are blessed with the worst landlord there is.  We think about moving  as soon as possible, but since our contract ends in June I believe, we are stuck here and have to make it work.  Our apartment does not have central heating, and I am already scared about winter. Night are getting cooler and cooler, and with no time I have to turn on our tiny heater box that is on the wall.   And drink lot of lemon, ginger tea with touch of honey .
I have to stop complaining. My life is fabulous. I get to experience world and great fantastic memories with loved ones, but I still find something to complain about.  There is always something that bugs me, and I am working hard on me to make me better.  I don't know if I made any progress , but I  feel like  one step at a time, and one day I will find me.:).
..

Gabriel is doing Great in his new school. China has made him more independent,  and he loves it .  In school he is doing much better than last year. he is MATH genius  and very proud of it :)  HE also takes tennis lessons, and is very proud of what he as accomplished within past couple of months. For a while he wanted to be President of United States of America, but he decided that it is not such a great idea, since it seems like lot of work. haha.

Boracay, Philippines.

..
Nick and I...
It's complicated, we are working on our relationship and it is hard.  Whoever said marriage is easy  never most likely tried to work on it.  Sometimes it looks like we made progress  and sometimes we stumble because I can't keep my eyes half shut.. We have discussed divorce, many times and who knows what next year brings. Right now we are trying to pick up the pieces,  not put a blame on each other for our own failures and see where next year takes us.  We are 2 very different people with same goal..happiness and we are trying to figure out how to  get there ..

We also travel a lot here in Asia. This year we visited Taipei for  few days because Nick had  to attend conference there. We also spend amazing week in Philippines.  I would love to go back there and soak in warm , salty blue water. Stare at blue sky and  forget that there is real world somewhere....
I also want to start writing little bit more. I lost it for a while. Nothing made sense and I want  things start making sense again. :)

...

The other day I was watching Oprah  Lifeclass and in the end of the show She tea poem by Derek Walcott. It  was exactly what I needed  to start look even more into me. :)

I hope you all are having an amazing year, and don't let fear paralyze  you.




Love After Love by Derek Walcott

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.