:D

SHH, I ran away from Gabriel. lol HAHAHAHAH( evil laugh from Regina). Yup, every time Regina thinks she does something funny or smart, she pulls her head between her sholders, closes her eyes and laughs the laugh only she can way ONLY she can laugh. Next thing you know, Gabriel runs downstairs screaming- REGINA TOOK MY CAR AWAY.
There is never dull moment in thins house. There is constantly something going on. Dress up parties, laughing, screaming, crying, chasing around the house. Most favorite game for kids now is "WHO CAN CATCH KITTY FIRST". Poor cat. 30 minutes of intense cardio for him and lots of scrams from kids because cat is just way to fast ....

Regina is doing pretty well right now. Last monday I signed her up for some Hula dance lessons, and now every monday for 45 minutes she practises and dances hula. :) She also knows how to read now. She knows about 40 words and can read simple sentences ( THIS IS CAT, I AM GIRL, I SEE BALL, etc. It is so much fun to see her learning to read. Seems like reading comes really easy for her. And her teacher has really good system worked out to teach kids to read. They get one or 2 new words every week , and little baggy book with it. AT home we practise reading those words and she remembers them really fast. :) She still enjoys doing her homeworks every day. It is not much, but it is fun . I learn with her. :)

Wohoooo

Regina has her first loose tooth. It is one of the bottom ones. When she showed me her loose tooth, I really, really teared up. I laughed and cryed same time. I feel so exited about it. SHE IS LOOSING HER BABY TOOTH!!!!!!! So cool :D

OK Kathy and everyone else...

Here is the 5th sentence from my 23'd post,
And let me tell you about that test.(I'm sure it makes no sence to you). lol

Anyway, it was one of MY worst St Jude days. Regina had Psych test done on that day( about 3 hours Long) And some questions they asked from her were really hard. She cryed during this test, I cryed when she started crying. After her IQ tests she had radiation therapy. First 2 weeks she received RT , she always got sedated. And this was beginning of our long ride- her third radiation day. When they but her to sleep and I went out to get something to eat, I just broke down and started crying . I leaned against the wall and just cryed. I felt really"small", confused, upset, sad, mad, angry... People kept walking past me and once in a while somebody stopped and offered napkin and brought water, and asked if they could do something. But there was nothing they could have done. And all the hugs, and words that people sayed, made me cry harder. But I finally did stop crying and it felt soooo much better. I did not get any answers, but I got rid of all the frustration that was in me at that moment. >>><<<

Today I did something I nave never done before. I know how to crochet, but It was my first time ever crochet hat. Yep. It came out ok. I did not have any patterns handy, so I just did what I thought was right thing to do. I did make few minor mistakes, but at least now I know how to make perfect little pink hats for girls. ( Or boys) Gabriel allready ordered his hat . lol. He sayd it has to be blue.

October...

Unbelivable, it is October allready. It sure does not feel like this year is almost over. Halloween, Thanksgiving and Chirstmas- are you all making plans for these fun holidays? Nick will fly to china again tonight and returns before december 5th( he'll be gone for 2 whole months). For halloween Regina wants to be princess, she allready has outfit, Gabriel is still not sure. But he did mention that maybe HE wants to be princess also. I guess, I just dress up as evil stepmom- or corpse bride- something that scares off all the candy beggers.

For Thanksgiving- Our friends invited us to palm springs. How fun. I was really looking forward for Thanksgiving this year. Last Year Regina was in st Jude Hospital with fever and I HAD to eat hospital turkey :( There was beautiful Thanksgiving dinner in Target house, but since we were inpatients that really did not do any good for us. :(

Anyway- it will be looong and lonely 2 months. I am very sure both of my kids will get really sick ( that is unwritten rule). Every time Nick goes to china they get sick. Punishment for me. They will not listen to me, they will not clean up theyr messes and they will not play nice with each other. lol ...
.........................................

This past saturday we went to Big Bear to Celebrate octoberfest there. Gabriel and Regina were not very exited about this trip. Someting about name BEAR just made them little suspicious about this beautiful place. They did like the little cute cottage we stayed in, but they hated the place where October fest was on. It was to loud for them, people looked to scary and weird( they thought so). But they did paly couple of traditional fair activities like trying to hit the balloons with tarts, and throw balls into baskets. etc. Regina won cute tiny mouse and that was it. :) After we had our dinner, we left our kids with sitter and we ourselves went out and drank some beer and ate sourkraut with sausages.

Make a wish-Steven-Regina and Heather-our dear Friends and neighbors:D

3 best friends forever. Regina , Heather and Jake met in Tutor time. Now they all have graduated from that school. Each of them goes to different elementary school where they attend Kindergarten glass. But they still get together for Bdays and sleepovers.

I hope you all went to Cilis to eat today. You know, 100% of the proffits went to St jude. That's big!!! Our family and 13 of our friends went to Chilis to celebrate Reginas 6th B day today. I did order her Princess cake as she wished and I was very happy how Cake Tasted and how Cake looked. Thanks Ralps bakery. Regina was very exited to go to Chilis. She loves theyr kids menu and she almost always orders Cheese pizza and french fryes. She was really happy to see her friends Heather, Jake, Jacob, Devin, Riley,Steven and Sean.:) She also LOVED all the presents. HOw could you not love princess nightgowns, cell phones and books. She is covered with pink faux fur blanket that Bells gang got her and she is watching her Barbie Dvd;). Thank you guys.You really helped make her B-day special . On our way home from Chilis she told me that she is really happy tonight because she knows everybody loves her. :D

Princess Regina.:) Sleeping Beauty dress we got for her Birthday from Disney world.( I am not even going to mention how much it costed)

Thing 1 Team- 4th member of our family did not want to be Thing. OUR limo( picked us up from airport and drowe us home from airport, bunny Merry who came to tuck Regina in in KGTW, and last pic is taken in GKTW. Yeah, there are lots of Rabbits running wild...

i see blue- lol. This was our Sea World outfit- classy huh??? OH, We also love Sea World- KGTW kids got always special treatment- first row seats, we were allowed to take strollers where ever we wanted, and in overall- Sea World loves its special guests :)

WE are very thankful for Make A wish and KGTW for all the good things they did for us. but we were hoping for more personalised trip for Regina. At least more peronalised WELCOME greeting/ or cake that was provided by them. This is the cake Regina got from Give kids the world. If I knew it was plain autumn cake I WOULD have gone out and ordered princess cake to make her B day more special. But oh well, on 26th of September Whe will GET the Princess cake she requested from me prior this trip. :)

TIgger and Regina. On 19th, Reginas B day we went to MGM studios. Every morning we asked from Regina where she wanted to go and she chose the places. We met Tigger, and Eyore, Jo-jo Circus,saw Playhouse Disney live, saw some ation heros, Goofy, Buzz and co, lilo, Chip and Dale( sp)- they are the coolest chipmunks. They just finished taking pics and they saw Regina, they hugged her, kissed her gave her signed cards and allowed us to take pics( it is weird how some characters were allowed to spend extra time with wish kids and some were hurried away and we were told come back later). OH- MISS CAROL--- We went to see the Muppet show 3D version. lol that was funny. ;) I told Regina that you like muppets , so she agreed to see what is all the fuzz about those weird talking seesame street lookalikes. lol
And our day Ended in Chilis. At first we wanted to go to Downtown Disney to have dinner, but Regina decided that she was too tired to do so and told us she feels like eating in Chilis. :)

Only place Gabriel was not scared was Dr Seuss Landing. He took rides and had fun running around. He also got over his Merry go round fear and so our days In KGTW started with rides and ended with rides.

WE also went to see SHREK 4D show. OH that was amaaaaaazing show. 4 d is way better than 3D. Chairs were animated, when characters sneezed in movie we got to experiense the sneezes( we got sprayed wet), when donkey or horse was running , chairs were bouncing up and down, when dragon was flying wind filled the theater. It was fun. After show we took pic with donkey. Donkey was fun . Donkey asked from Regina if she allready saw Shrek show. REgina sayed NO. I yelled from were I was taking pics that YES SHE DID SEE THE SHOW. Donkey made a little joke to Regina- I GUESS SHOW WAS THAT unforgettable that she forgot how unforgettable it was. AND UNIVERSAL WILL PAY FOR ALL THE THERAPY PARENTS NEED TO GET HER MEMORY BACK. lol Gabriel and Nick did not get to experience that show. Gabriel started screaming and my dh took him out of waiting area. :(

We LOVED, LOVED, LOVED universal. It was amazing how well wish kids were treated. When we entered the gates there were characters allready taking pics with people and since the line was short( only 2 kids in front of us) we decided to wait on line. But the Person with the characters who wore UNIVERSAl sign saw Regina and her Give Kids the World button, she took Reginas hand, and walked her straight to characters and sayed to us. DO NOT EVEN DARE TO STAND ON LINE. I about started crying. lol After we watched Barney live show, they told us TO WAIT and brought Barney to us so we could get pics with him and hug him .:) Amazing. Make A Wish told us that MAKEAWIHS button does miracles, but it really did not do so. THE button we got from GIVE kids THe World was like madic wand. Regina just had to flash it once and VOILA- she got what she wanted :) ( to compare Universal do disney- WE LOVE UNIVERSAL!!!!!!.

( Foto) Give Kids the world Madical Castle. We are back home. Our trip ended on LAX airport after that JET BLUE Landed( minutes after Jet blue Landed). We had busy busy busy time in ORlando. Weather was nice and sunny. Exept the last day (on 20th). We went to Seaworld and got to experience "Real" Sea world with horrible showers. We lived in Give kids the world village that has villas for 94 families( 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom, kitchen, living room). Life there reminded me Ronald Mc Donald house, because of all the buffet breakfast and dinners. Reginas original wish was to spend a day in Florida disneyworld and meet all the princesses and get a group pic with them, but this dream did not get fulfilled. We did MEET every other character but princesses. First day we went to Magic Kingdom- took about 8 rides- WITHOUT waiting on lines. Regina loved Show white ride and teacup rides( pretty much the same rides California Disney had).

HI you guys :) Our wonderful Orlando vacation has finally ended and we are back home. It was good vacation. let me remind you that I have 2 kids who each want different things- REgina was exited to try out some new stuff, but Gabriel was scared most of the time, so our trip went buy just giving Gabriel shock therapy , which means, we just dragged him everywhere where Regina went. SADLY, we did not meet any of the princesses :(. Princesses eather were resting or just finished taking picks and were about to go to rest. But Regina did not let that take her down. We got to take rides without waiting on line, we got plenty of character pics taken, we also got to meet Barney in person after Barney show. Right now I am little tired and will not update more, but I try to do more tomorrow. :)

Regina and Gabe sharing a loing moment:D

Look at Gabe- expression on his face is priceless.lol

Regina and Her wish granters From MakeAWish. :) And Pluto :)

Peanut butter pizza :D:D:D:D

Goofys Kitchen..

Today we went to Goofys Kitchen, In Disneyland Hotel for Reginas wish granting party. It is really fun place. Characters come to your tables, talk to you and and act silly. It was dinner buffet with HUGE dessert table. I think there were more desserst than main dishes. Regina did not feel very happy today. I think she wsa little scared and confused what was happening and why were all the characters stopping on her table. But she did warm up in the end. lol. It always happens when party is over. THen she is ready to have some real fun.
But at first I have to tell you about dessert table. lol I think I ganed about 10 lbs just looking at that table- there was peanut butter and jelly pizza, huuuge chocolate cake, cinamon bread pudding, cherry cake, rasberry cheescakes, lemon square cake, yello, 6 in chocolate chip cookies, rice crispies decorated as cake slices, ICE cream, frest fruits and even more. lol. It was amazing dinner ( at least for me). Regina had slice of cheese pizza, some ice cream and of course her Favorite- CHOCOLATE cake!!!!! Gabril was really scared at first. He refused to do anything at all. But he got really exited when Coofy wanted to high five with gabe. Gabe finally agreed to eat. He had 2 slices of pizza and lots of mac and cheese( miki shaped).
We also got our tickets- our adventure starts 4.30 AM on friday morning. Limo will pick us up and take us to LAX. Regina got Backpack full of things to keep her busy during her plane flight and she also got new dora the explorer packback. I thought dora was NickJr character, not disney- oh well, even the best of us make some mistakes. lol

More to come when I feel better- all that food I ate today made me feel little sick. So off I go.....

Regina is feeling wonderful today. She has been very active and her apetite is slowly returing to her. Her sores are slowly healing and her cough is almost gone. Today we went to mall, because both of my kids wanted to have teriaky chicken, and only teriaky chicken they love is in Mission viejo mall :) After that I felt like baking and I made some cinamon rolls from scratch, then I made viener pirogies. Then I felt like eating homemade strawberry preserves. So I made that also. And I stuffed some dough with that and baked it. I also made some yeast dough doughnuts. :lol I swear, it is all about bread these days....

Regina is doing her cowgirl move. This pic is taken on thursday . After that pic was taken her coldsores spread all over her mouth.

Gabriel loves to pose. He brings me camera, chooses spot where to pose and tells me- TAKE MY PICTURE NOW :)

Update on Regina

Today is better day for her. She is still very congested and her face( mouth, lips and nose) is covered with blisters, but they are starting to dry and now she is all crusty. her cough is much better and she has not had any fevers. She still does not eat much. She has couple of bites of food and then she is done. I am trying to " force" her eat all day long( couple of bites in every half an hour).
She is up and playing right now which is good :)
She is taking 4 different meds now- her thyroid med once, antibiotics(2x a day), C-tussin(2X), acyclover(4x), and her vitamins.

Some good news- at least for us they are good. :)

Doctor from St Jude endocrine clinic called today. I thought- OH NO, he does not want to reschedule Reginas October apointments. lol
But instead he told me that He and Doctor Gajjar had "couple" of conversations about Regina and her counts and growth etc and since she grew 1, 1/2 inches within past 3,5 months , he thinks that Regina does not have to go to st Jude in october for Insuline injected growth hormone testing. When we go to St Jude in December he will evaluate Regina one more time and if she continues to grow , then she does not has to get those daily growth hormone injections.
I feel pretty good about it. I was scared , so scared about that test. And now i can sleep somewhat better at night. :)
Dr Gajjar mentioned when we were in memphis that he tried to talk to Dr Shelso about this extra trip to St jude and that he thinks it is ridiculos to bring Regina in just for that one test. I guess Dr shelso listened to him and re-thought about his "experiment" with Regina. OR he just got scared at dr Gajjar.... lol

ok.
Regina still coughs a lot and has painful blisters in her mouths and on her lips. She did not get fever last night but she woke up every half an hour to drink water. ( I have not had good night sleep for 4 nights in a row now), Which makes me grumpy and moody and picky and icky...;)

Doctor Gajjar and Regina :)

We are home now :)- UPDATE 6.25PM

I took Regina to see his doctor here. We also got his chest Xrays done. I am not an expert , but what I saw bothered me. Her right lung was completely white on xray, and left one seemed normal. She had chest xrays before , but I have never seen image like that on her past x rays. I will know more tomorrow. :(
She feels horrible now, she throws up , can not keep even water down. She has slept most of the day, and she got bad mouth sores. And Her Right ear is also infected. :(:(:( I am waiting for fever to show up soon. I have to make her drink little more or we end up in hospital, because she is dehydrated. AND my dh is not home to help me out. :(:(:(


Scans were all nice and clean. Labs looked great :)
BTW. REgina did her scans without sedation :) Since she had fever and was caughing really bad they decided not to do sedation. She fell asleep the moment she entered the MRI and was still 45 minutes. And she even did not cough there.

They did not do x rays as they first promised. Now we are here and ready to go to Reginas pediatrition to get some meds to make her feel better. Robitussin in not working( coughing). Last night she spiked high fever again and I worked hard 3 hours do get her fever down( without the meds BTW). Around 2 am we fell asleep and had to wake 5 am to go to airport. :)

She threw up couple of times in airplane, but at least I know it is not due to braintumor.

Here we are and things don't go as planned

Yep, Regina had her audiology ( hearing) apointment. Her hearing is good, but her high frequency hearing is in critical zone.

Last night I decided to call doctor on call here because REgina was coughing way to much. We got robitussin and her coughing slowed down. Then , around 3 AM in the morning I woke up becuase she was coughing. I touched her forhead and she was burning up. I took her temp and it was 102,7. I panicked and was about to call 911( trust me, my first thougt was Oh no, she has low counts and she can not fight infections now- St Jude makes me think that way). But I just applied damp , cold washcloth on her forhead for 2 hours. ANd in the morning her fever was gone. Almost gone.

Around 10 am we got called in to get her anestesia going. But Itold them what has been going on and they decided not to sedate her. NOw we are back in E clinic area. THey will thraw her labs around2.15, give her some codeine( spelling?) and try to do MRI without sedation. OH yeah, right lung has little wheezing in, so she has to be x rayed also. ( her MRI is scheduled around 5 pm).

On a good note- I have not smoked for 2 days, so I really did not make any good friends here.....

Monday is aproaching...

Oh, yeah, and I am not looking forward to this St Jude trip this time at all. I have bad feeling about something, but not sure why and about what. Regina started coughing today- right now it is dry cough, but usually all her illnesses start with dry cough. :( I just hope that she will not get fever with it, othervise I just don't feel comfortable going there when she is sick. She also has been telling me that her head hurts again and she threw up once today. I am not happy when something like that happens. I'm not sure why she threw up , all I can hope is that she got somekind of bug from school.

We have set up automatic payments for Make a Wish organization here in Orange county. Today we got the newsletter and guess whose fase was on it?? REGINAS!!!! We attended Wild Rivers Make A Wish party , and she was making a butterfly there, and when it was finished they took her pic with butterfly. Her pic on newsletter is tiny, but it is on front page :):):):):) I showed it to her and she was very, very happy about it!:) So am I !!!!

Ok, now something frustrating again. Today , after I picked Regina up from shcool , 3 of us headed to mall to eat our lunch. Kids Love terriaky chicken there with rice and both of them clean up those huge plates of chicken and rice. After eating we went to pet store( in mall). After that they wanted to play. I TOLD GABRIEL AND REGINA TO STAY WITH ME and not run away. But you know- THEY DID NOT LISTEN. Regina took off running and took escalator up. Gabriel took off in totally different direction and refused to stop. So I finally yelled ( I think all people in the mall heard me). STOP RIGHT NOW. So he stopped. I yelled to regina to take escalator down, which she did without any complaints. We ran to Gabriel and I calmly took, him and made him apologise to me, which he did not. lol

after mall, nothing exiting happened. We went to best buy to
BThen suddenly somebody tapped to my sholder. It was one mom with 2 kids who had seen the whole ordeal. She told me that I don't know how I did it, but I handled it very well. She also sayed that she allready sees her future with 2 restless kids who each want different things, and she sees herself chacing her kids from one end of mall to another. :) lol Of course, Gabriel finally apologised after screaming 15 minutes face down on the floor, and me standing 10 feet away just minding my own business. Then we went to Best buy to get my iPod new USP cord and then Borders to get some books to read.
Kids eat really well during the dinner and now they are in bed.

And i am here worring about my upcoming memphis trip. Wish us luck and clean scans :)

Go to Chilis to eat :D

**Copied from http://www.stjude.org***

This September, give yourself a well-deserved break from the kitchen and provide hope to cancer-stricken children.

As part of National Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, Chili's Grill & Bar is asking its guests to donate $1 or more to color pinups of the Chili's signature pepper during its nationwide "Create a Pepper to Fight Childhood Cancer" campaign for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. Additionally, Chili's will donate 100 percent of its profits on Monday, September 26 to St. Jude.

For more than 40 years, St. Jude Children's Research Hospital has been finding cures and saving children. Through its discoveries, St. Jude has helped push the survival rate for acute lymphoblastic leukemia, the most common form of childhood cancer, from 4 percent in 1962 to 85 percent today. And no family ever pays for treatments not covered by insurance, and families without insurance are never asked to pay. It takes more than $1 million a day for St. Jude to continue its mission.

Chili's is hoping its customers can help raise $3 million for the hospital during the campaign. Last year, Chili's raised more than $2.5 million at its more than 850 company-owned and franchised U.S. locations.

For the second year, Jeff Probst, host and producer of the Emmy^TM Award-winning CBS-TV series Survivor, will serve as spokesperson for the campaign. "It couldn't be easier to have a positive impact on children who are fighting cancer," said Probst. "You go into any Chili's during the month of September and simply color a pepper for $1. It doesn't sound like a lot, but every dollar helps the children who depend upon the life-saving research and care provided by St. Jude."

For more information, to create a pepper online, or to purchase a "Create a Pepper" T-shirt, visit www.createapepper.com.

SO??

When Regina goes to school or anywhere out to sun, she likes to dressherself up warm. Long sleeve shirt under short sleeve, and pantihose, and of course her cute little pink hat. Lot of the people have noticed it and told me that why am I dressing her up so warm? It is " stupid" to dress her up with so much clothing on her. Or , WOW, WHY DO YOU LET HER DRESS HERSELF UP L I K E THAT???
I tell them that she feels cold and wants to be covered up. First reaction is IS SHE SICK?? I tell them no, but if you really want to know then I tell you. And I tell them .The moment the hear word tumor - their faces change and they start investigating her in complete silence. And of course- YOU POOR THING, OWW, such a sweet little girl.., what a cute little hat, and look at that ladybug on her pantyhose. etc. SOmetimes I with poeple mind theyr own business about other peoples clothes. I am not going around telling them that hey- she is way to young to wear I AM SO SEXY shirt, or.- why her 4 year old face is covered up with make up. Cheesh. I understand the curiosity, but it is not like she is badly dressed . She is just overdressed and if she likes it and does not feel warm- what is the fuss about anyway??? BTW. Her classroom gets really cold( she told me so). So little extra clothing is not the bad thing. :)

Vent of the day.

Gabriel , Heather and Regina. :) We were invited to H. birthday party today. Kids had fun- well, they did most of the time, but of course it is not a party without complete meltdown. Since it was during gabes naptime, he got "little" upset when he could not do what he wanted to do, and he had hard time sharing things with some other kids. But thanks to understanding party goers( moms, dads), Gabriels bad attitude dissapeared, and he enjoyed party till the end. :) I did enjoy it also. I took about 10 slides down from huuuuge slide and I think I have to do some pant shopping tomorrow, because slides and pants- they do not work hand in hand. lol I also enjoyed cake and pizza and drank some diet coke( yeah, I am turning junk food junkie again). Hopefully now I get couple of days and I can start eating less again. ( maybe)

:D

Regina is doing great. She likes her new school and is very exited to go there every morning. She got her first homework assignment which is she has to draw her face, decorate it and cut it out. She thinks it is easy. lol After school she appears little tired, and of course I make her take her daily nap. She does not like the idea of napping during the day, but once she is in bed, she falls asleep right away. :) She is eating well and is active. :)

Today we will attend Reginas friend birthday party. She is very exited about it. She colors and draws pictures for her right now. She also signed her Bday card and now she is making blue moon pic.
I have not seen H and her mom for a loooong time, ( since Gabriels B day). I can not wait untill 12.30. It is almost 10 Am now. 3 and half hours to go. :)

Here she is :) Regina Melody Tan. Ready for school BTW. She was the only girl who was dressed up.

I'm all alone now

Both my kids are in school now. Gabriel in preschool and Regina started her kindergarten today. She was awake 6.45, ran dowstairs butt naked and dresse herself up for her first day in school She was super exited about her first day. Then we drove her to her new shchool and waited couple of minutes behind her school door. Her teacher told us that she was on her list for early birds, but we got reminder that Regina is late bird. But no big deal.

Before we left to her school I asked Regina if it is ok for me to but away her toys and make room for BIG GIRL stuff. She agreed. So today We will get couple of boxes, decorate them and but away all her soft toys( hundreds of them).

It feels so weird now. i don't know if I should cry or laugh. I wish her best and hope that school is not to hard for her. :)

Kindergarten.

Oh, I can not belive that my sweet little Girl is starting kindergarten tomorrow. Unbelivable. Today we went to kindergarten orientation and got some basic information how things are going to be and what we need for school. Regina seems very excited about starting school tomorrow, but I will find out after her first day what she really thinks. I noticed couple of students from Tutor Time were there also, but I am not sure if they will be early birds, or late birds. Regina got placed to Late birds( from 9.19- 12.20). Today, after she wakes up from her nap we have one more little thing to take care off. We have to buy her first day outfit. :)

This was my first rental car that got damaged due to collision between unsuspecting driver( me) and careless deer.

Dog Rixi and I. he is about 14 years old and his job is to scare away strangers and unwanted quests.

The day my family found out that I arrived. My mom was in hospital, and was totally surprised that I showed up. At first she thought that My sister had some kind of friend with her. :) Luckily she got home same day. :)

Here comes the Bride- sijas friend Keiju got married :)

Inside the local ( Obinitsa) church. This picture is taken aftter service , It was backed with hundreds of people and was very hot and humid.

family- s dad, brother Tiim, Sister Sija and mom Aime. Local `

Hello!!

Sorry for not updating so long. Place where I stayed in Estonia had no internet connection and I was to lazy to drive to place where internet was present. During my 12 day stay , I did not watch tv, I did not waste time online. I drove around to see all the places I missed and visited with relatives who I have not seen for a long, long time. Sadly my stay was to short and lot of the people I wanted to see I did not see. But regardless of that I had fun. It was really truly refreshing to be back there. Nature is what took my breath away, everything was so green and breathtaking. It smelled fresh there, it looked peaceful and I felt energized but sad that I am not part of that corner of world anymore. But at least I have a chance once in a while to go back there to refresh my memories and chat with people I used to know very well. I noticed that I am starting to grow apart from people and culture. Lot of the times I did not know what to say or how should I behave. I also sensed the same from people with whoom I met up with. :)

Most frequently asked question was of course How Regina is doing- and of course my answer each time was she is doing really well. Sometimes I had to answer that question over 10 times a day. Other top ten questions were -How long to I stay, How do I manage to keep myself in such a great shape, Am i alone, why I am alone, Why I did not take kids with me, do I ever move back to Estonia, what did I miss the most about Estonia, how is the weather In california, do I teach kids to speak Estonian, and many more simple, but afterwhile little annoying questions. lol. :)

I wisited some beautiful places when I was there, I went trout fishing( but since I was such a bad fisherwoman, Sija had to get a fish, I ate lots and lots of good food and ice cream( I gained about 6 fat lbs, but I don't regret gaining it. It is good fat I gained, I ate all the foods I missed the most and of course it included lot of dark rye bread and a good local desserts( homemade ones). I did not have to buy apples or plums or cherries because my family has huge garden and everything is right there- pick and eat as much as you want.
I did miss taking showers though, but it does not mean that I did not wash myself. I boiled a bowl of water every morning and evening and washed myself manuallylol. I did spent some hours in sauna and I wish that we had sauna here in ca. I also survived car crash and couple of falls that made my butt turn purple.
I partyed with friends and drank the drinks I can not get here in US ( good Ciders, and other fun malt beverages that have very different flavour from usa drinks).

I did miss my kids and husband a lot. It felt very wery weird not to wake up every morning besides them. But the same time it was good not to wake up 6 Am :)

What I hated about my trip were flees- OH, I am a flee magnet. Grass flees, dog flees, you name it I got them and they left a itchy bitemarks on me. Of course the moment I felt the bite on somewhere I had to undress and find them or othervise they would have eaten me alive.
I guess it must be my AB negative blood. Luckily I did not have to experiense mosqitos because it is allready cool up there and mosquito season is almost over. But I got fleeeeeees. hate them. I hope that I did not bring any or them to here. lol

I just h ave to post this pic. They decided that they want to eat dinner in living room ( pizza and macaroni. They think it is fun to order me around . lol

Hi from Regina and Gabe. :) Regina is doing great. We went to her future new school today to drop off some papers. She keeps askinb me every day about when can she start her kindergarten. She is very exited about it :) Gabriel is still sick. And when he is sick he is sick. He has these sad big brown eyes that just make your heart melt and give him the way. :) His mouth is doing pretty bad, his gums are swollen it means that he can not eat very well. He is hungry and angry. He also has been throwing up a lot. :( He can not keep his milk down , but sadly it is the only thing he wants to drink and only thing that gives him some calories now. :( He finally told me hat he does not want to drink milk anymore because it makes him throw up, and he settled for plain old water. Lets just hope that he recovers from his illness really fast. We also got some "madic Mouthrinse" for him an seems like it helps a little with his swollen gums and tonsils. :)

Gabriel

Now I know why Gabriel has been behaving so well past couple of days. Poor boy has strep throat. He also developed rash on his chest and back and has tummy pains. :( His cheeks were kind of red like to red apples, so I took his temp. it was 101.8. My husband took him to see my doctor and that is how we found out what was going on with him. I wish him speedy recovery and really hope that Regina does not get it.

St Jude schedule.

Once again they changed Reginas schedule. We were suppose to fly there on 29th of august. BUT as I found out today, Dr Gajjar is vacationing and our apointments got moved to 6th of september. We will fly there on 5th and return on 7th. Instead of 3 months check up it is almost 5 month check up.

Regina is doing Great. Her cough is gone and she is feeling great. She did scare me couple of times telling me that her forhead hurts and or course I thought OH NO, and started waiting when will she throw up. But She is feeling great now and has no headaces.

Gabriel is behaving much better, he still has his horrible terrible 4 moments, but when daddy says something to him , He'll listen and stop. How nice.!

OUR CAT IS MISSING. My Dh left our balcony door open last night and our kitty managed to jump down and run away. This morning when I went to drive kids to school I noticed little paw prints on our car. I guess Kiisu just wanted to get back in , but we could not hear him late at night. :( We all miss him very much

Regina and Gabe trying to jump over the moon. ;)

Sunday:)

Regina is feeling much better today. Her cough is almost gone, at least she does not cough constantly anymore. She is feeling better and is much more active. She has learned to missbehave and use her illness against me.
Ex- Gabe and her are playing chasing game after lunch. Around 1pm I told them it is time for quiet time. Suddenly both of them stop running, look at me with sunken sad eyes and tell me that they can not walk anymore because they are sick. They also told me that since they are sick they can not sleep or do quiet time. VERY INTERESTING. I thought when kids are sick all they want to do is sleep . It is 3,25 pm now. THEY have ignored all of my warnings about being quiet in bed. I told them IF they stay quiet for 10 minutes they can get our of the room. But the moment I left the room both of them started mimicing me and I had enough. So now I made them to stay to room and think about what they did wrong. Of course none of them want to think about that. Instead Gabriel is screaming his lungs out and Regina just " rests". If I have to I am not going to let them out until Nick comes home later tonight. I hope they do enough thinking until then. lol.. Nah, I'mnot that bad. I let them out when they are ready to apologise to me and admit that the were wrong. I am ready to let them out when I hear YES instead of NO. I am ready to let them out AFTER they clean up the mess they made during this noon strike. Bedroom doors are open, but they know that they can not leave the room.

We also had little rough morning. We went to grossery shopping and when it was time to leave the car, gabriel suddenly tells me that he is a baby and he can not walk. I took him out of the car and left it next to car , because I refused to carry him in the store. You know what he did???? HE started screaming again, then he threw himself on hot road and started banging against the road with his wrists. it went on 10 minutes. I felt so embarrased but if I had picked him up, he'd do it again and again and again. He is one serious piece of work. I better roll my sleevs up and start working correcting his behavior. ( I started allready, but seems like even being consistent is not working. ) I took away his gameboy, I don't let him use computer if he missbehaves. I read him books, play with his cars, watch tv together, play chasing games, go to park? WHAT ELSE ???
I hope my Dh has all the right communication tools to help our sone with these terrible 4s.

Update about Reginas cough.

Reginas cough just got worse and worse and meds just did not work. So I took her to new doctor today. One of those walk in offices. Doctor got Reginas chest x rayed and she has some fluids on her right lung. They swithced her antibiotics and these should take care of her condition. She also has very bad case of cold sore in her lips, on her skin under her nose and in her mouth. She NEVEr got sores in her mouth during the chemo but now she has, so now she has to be on oral zovirax. :( Poor thing, she feels so uncomfortable with everything that is going on with her :(

Back in school

OH. FINäALLY, i got a brake from this madness that was going on in our house. Regina was feeling great so I took her back to her school. She was very exited to go back and do something more exiting than sitting in home with me. Reginas cough is almost gone, but again, she got those huge cold sores on her lip, her upper lip is completely covered with them. I think I really need to take her to specialist who cures this kind of things.

Last night was one of the worst nights I have had for a while. Something is going on with Gabe. From 8am till 10 pm he was screaming his lungs out. He refused to listen to me, he refused to fall asleep, he refused to do anything I saied to him. He screamed so loud and so much she ended up throwing up. She was terrorising Regina and telling her that she is a baby , and then Regina told him that his feet stink and then both of them cryed. After on hour of screaming and yelling I just broke down and cryed also. Regina asked me many many times why am I crying but I did not have answer for her. I wanted to tell her that it is because I don't know how to handle Gabriel, and I just want to get away from you both for a while, but I just told her that I am sad because I am tired. She gave me huge kiss and hug and told me everything will be allright. This screaming thing is nightly routine for Gabe, We keep our windows open before bedtime and I think all our neighbors heard what was going on.
Today Gabriel woke up happy and smiling like nothing happened last night. I just want to know what is going on in his mind. His personality changed after his vaccinations. ( 25th of June , I think). He is so restless, he does not pay attention, he sayes one things but does other, he is constantly fidgeting, and there is so much more that I have to deal with it. In overall he is good boy but when something like that happens I just don't know how to deal with it.

My 2 cute "monsters" who thought that my bathroom floor needs to be updated. With little help from watering can and mini duck pool( 9inch one), they poured lots of water to my bathroom floor by " accident" , and thought it was funny when I lost my mind.....

Regina is still sick.

She was gettting better but yesterday her cough got really bad. I gave her some robitussin, but it really did not work. She was coughing all night long. Today she had couple of pretty bad coughing episodes when she was coughing about 5 minutes straight and then she was fine for about an hour.
She also has runny nose but no fever. I just hope that it is nothing serious. ( Like I always hope).

D

Here is gabriel about 3 months old and Regina 2 years old. And I had long hair. Oh my.

Good day.

Regina keeps amazing me with her tetermination. She has been working nonstop for 2 days, doing her writing activities. I'm running out of resources. I think I printed out every single page there is online about tracing the words and sentences. She is getting better and better every hour. :) You go girl :)

Today she has been interviewing me and Gabe about her favorite things. Of course gabriels answers were like this. My favorite pen is where the cars are on, my favorite toy is truck, my favorite stroller is where the trucks are on, my favorite book is with cars, my favorite food is everything car shaped- see the pattern? lol He is funny.
Then Regina asked about my favorite things- she asked what is my favortie toy- I told her it is remote control. She looked at me really funny for about a minute and told that remote control is not a toy, you are not supposed to play with it, you just change channels. lol She is funny also. heh

Then we played some hopschotch( spelling) in the garage, because kids favorite place to play is in the garage. We also played with cars- Gabe requested that game. We danced and it was overall great day. :) Much better than yesterday. Gabriel even listened to me today. :)
Both of them still have runny nose and little cough, but meds take care of that. :)

Ok day.

Regina is feeling little better today. No fever, but she still has a congested cough- not very bad cough, just a little one.

I also decided to keep Gabriel home from school which was pretty bad idea. All he did all day long was whine. He wanted to play his gameboy, but I did not allow him to play with it since he missbehaved and did not listen at all. During the nap time he made a mess in his room, did not let Regina to sleep and was very restless.

I also did some"homeschooling" today. I printed out lot of tracable words and sentences and made kids to learn letters and spelling. Regina was pretty happy, she worked hard for 2 and half hours and even made me print out more pages, so she can write more. gabriel was happy first 10 minutes and then he was done.

Now , it is 9.11 pm and they are still not sleeping. I see they are overtired, but they just refuse to co-operate with me. I wish Nick was home, they listen him much better than they do listen to me. :(

Get well thoughts needed.

Regina is not feeling very well. She has small fever 99,9, her apetite is gone and all she does is to lie down. :( She is generally feeling not so well. Outer corner of her right eye is also little red and bothers her .

Gabriel is getting over her illness. His nose is not that runny anymore and he has gained back his energy. He is full of energy now.

I hope whatever is going on with Regina will go away soon.

Wednesday.

We all are home today. Gabriel has ear infection on both ears and i DON'T like taking sick kids to school, so here we are sitting home and messing up our house.
Today is rather annoying day. The street we live on is being updated- they removed old asphalt and now they are redoing it. It is loud, and stinky and every time one of those huge road rollers( whatever they call them) rolls by our house , it feels like earthquake hits. I swear, our house is shaking and makes all those horror movie squakes. lol. It is WAY to loud, but thankfully it only lasts from 7am- 7pm so after today is over we can get out again. We also can not park on our street which means we have to walk about 10 min to get to our car- OR use one of those golf cars communtiy provides people to transport them while repears are going on. It is too hot outside anyway and we are staying in.

Regina is doing pretty well, I have been using some NANNY911 on them and seems like it is working. They listen to me better, they follow rules( at least Regina is, Gabe has long way to go), there are times I have to raise my voice- REALLY rise my voice, and then everybody starts screaming and when screaming is over they look at me like I am some kind of nut and start laughing. Yeah, you got it, they think when I rise my voice it sounds funny. I prefer not to yell, but if after 10 warnings nobody listens to me I put my foot down and do what I have to do to get things moving in this house.

Regina is finally starting to get used to my cooking. lol. Yesterday she asked for Terriaky chicken and today she wanted to have turkey sandwiches. Her and her apetite. Gabriel tastes and eats everything, but Regina is different story. Now that I don't give them sweets anymore, they are much better eaters. :)

They both miss daddy very very much. Every time they missbehave and I " punish them", they tell me that they really don't like me anymore, and when daddy comes home they will tell daddy everything. hahahahah, yeah, right. So as I am learning from them, they think that daddy is much better than mommy, because daddy takes them to the Mall and buys them lots of candy. hiiiihi.

To get to the lake you have to have membership, but since we don't live in that area, we have to have friends who have membership. And thanks to Jill , Regina and Gabriel had fun time exploring what lakes can offer ;)

Regina and Jackob having fun on the boogie board. It was so funny to watch them play. Regina tryed to stay on board, but it was to slippery and every time Jackob made sudden move Regina slid off the board like slippery fish.

Beautiful Sunday :) Our Friends Jill and Jackob invited us to Lake Mission Viejo to have some much needed summer fun. It was fun. At home Gabriel told me he was afride of ocean - I told him it is not Ocean, it is lake, and it does not have big waves. At The lake, he was the first one to run in and get wet. He played in the water nonstop for 2,5 hours. he was amazing, running, jumping, diving, trying to swim etc. Regina was more careful- he took babysteps at a time and made sure it is not do deap step further, she had more fun playing outside building sand cone castles.

update about Cole and Deagan.

Couple of posts ago I asked good thougths, prayers about 2 boys who are fighting for their lives. I am very sad to tell you that both of those boys have passed away. So sad and tragic. It is getting harder and harder to watch, read stories about the kids we knew that are passing away- one by one.

I feel happy that Regina happy and healthy and that she is with us, but with all the recent relapses I'm starting to feel scared and I can not control the thought about what if she is next?? Even me thinking about her getting sick scares me to tears. I just hope she gets a chance to grow old and experiense all the good bad and more good things in this wild, wiked , unprodictible world.

My Batgirl and our friend Devin. I guess Regina is ready for Halloween. Last night Regina and Gabe had a blast in Devins house watchint tw, eating pizza and mac and cheese and plaing with Devings toys. Devins mom wanted to have recipe of one of my seafood dishes, but I was to lazy to write it down, instead, I went to grossery shopping, bought all the things needed for that dish and went to her house and made it for them. :) I had fun cooking and they had fun eating it. :)

Yesterday ( tuesday) Reginas kindergarten camp class went to Mazda Research and developement center for a field trip. One kid, whose dad worked there explaned us how dream becomes reality. How they first draw the pics, then make mini clay models, decorate them, send them to Japan and if Japan likes the model they make car just like that mini model looked like. It was fun. Kids got to play with clay " add" finishing touches to mini claymodels, color and design car and eat lots and lots of pizza. We also got to see the Mazda they designed for XMen. IT was there on display, but we could not take pics of it. :( http://www.seriouswheels.com/top-Mazda-RX-8-X-Men-Film.htm.

Herby fully loaded.

What a day, what a day. lol. Kids have been misbehaving today. They both wanted to see Herby movie. I thought, what the heck, I can handle them. But on boy, was I wrong. We went to one smaller mall where tickets are only 5 dollars instead of 7.50. It is a cute little movie theater with 4 theaters inside. We got the tickets, got in and stood on line to get popcorn and coke. SUDDENLY- gabriel HAD to go to bathroom. When we first stood on line there were 10 people before us and when Gariel wanted to go to the bathroom there was only O N E person. So I took both of them to restroom. In restroom he tryes really hard to pee, but since HE really did not have potty problem he only managed to push out one little drop. I was mad, soooo mad. We got back online and waited more, because there was new line for popcorn. We finally got our popcorn and went in and found seats. In about 10 minutes into movie GABRIEL wanted to go to potty again. I new he did not have real potty problem . I told him NO bathroom and made him sit on his chair. Minute later he wanted to go again and I had to take him . Same thing happened as before- no pee. He just wanted to get out of theater.
We went back inside and guess what happened?? He dropped all of his popcorn and candy- while sitting on his chair. I was getting furious. I told him, I am not getting new one, so there you go. Sit and enjoy the movie.

Minutes later Regina wanted to go to potty. I was about to scream , I WAS about to have nervous breakdown right there . I took her into bathroom because she really wanted to pee. THEN again we got back in and took seats. Regina tells me she does not like popcorn anymore ( she only had about 10 bites). I WAISTED 8 dollars for dropped candy, popcorn and coke they did not want to have. I really did wanted to slap someone right there, but I kept it cool. We were about 40 minutes into movie when Gabriel suddenly wanted to sit on my lap. I told him no because we are in move and he has to sit on his seat. Then Regina started wiggling around like he had worms in her ass. MOMMY, I AM SLEEPY, you have to take me to your lap..

NOOOOO, NOOOOOO, and NOOOOOO. Sit on your seat and watch the movie. End of story. They managed to watch rest of the movie without any problems. BUT when movie was over I told them it is time to go to home. REGina started kicking and screaming - I DONT WANT TO GO< I WANT TO HAVE COOKIE MONSTER AND ELMO COOKIE. I DONT WANT TO GO. She was about to throw herself on the floor and scream even louder. I dragged her out of the mall, she was still screaming on top of her lungs. People thought I was probably kidnapping kids from movie theater. It was bad. but since she did not eat her lunch, she did not eat her popcorn- simply because she was not hungry, I decided there is NO COOKIE, because she is not hungry. She was screaming the whole time she was sitting on the car and I was driving home . It is about 15 minute ride . I have never, ever heard her scream like that. Not even during her chemo treatments. But I guess, she wanted to have her cookie so bad she had to make screaming point. I DID NOT CARE.
We got home around 2 pm. I told them it is nap time, since they both wanted to sleep in theater, Regina threw another slightly smaller fit but she went to bed. SHE JUST HAS TO MAKE HER POINT. I am not going to give in. I have to handle them alone, I have to do this, to that, go there, stay there, pay these bills, go birthday, handle some stupid healtproblems.
I really hope she learned her lesson today. SHE SIMPLY can not get everything she wants. I am not going to give in anymore. SHe has to earn it, and so does Gabriel. They have to prove to me that they deserve the treats and snacks and toys.
I am drinking my peppermint tea again ( I planted some peppermint on my backyard and now I have fresh calming remedy on hand). We have long way to go. But thins have to get back to somwhat normal. Regina hsa been very mean towards people letting them now that she does not like them or simply hides behind my back and tells me she does not like to talk to anybody just because..... And when I tell her she has to be nice and respectful she tells me she does not care. She has good moments also, but right now I concentrate on her bad side that is slowly overtaking her good side.

I hope after they wake up the are hungry and ready to eat some food- REAL FOOD. NO snacks, no chips, NO sugar, NO CANDY. ALl they get today is carrots and peas and beens. HA. Play nice or next thing you get from me on mail is nice can of pork and beans

Time is ticking away...

Here I am again feeling sad and helpless. 2 families whe were receiving treatments same time as Regina was are slowly loosing theyr loved one.
Cole Walker- he truly is one amazing boy. He has been through hell, constantly sick, infections, constantly in hospital. But here he is still surviving.
His mom and grandma are nicest people to be around . The are alway calm and I often wondered how do they do t
http://www3.caringbridge.org/ms/colewalker

I did not know this family very well, but I saw them often In Target house and in hospital. Daegan is not doing very well eather. I remember we had a talent show in Target show, and he sang one looooong country song with his sweet boy voice. It was beautiful and cute moment. :)
http://www.dmanhero.com/
(Daegan's website)

Think about these kids and theyr families today.

what a morning.

Today I volunteered to go to Orange county Natural history museum with Reginas class.So 4 teachers, me and 21 kindergartners took about 1,4 mile walk to the museum. It was long walk, but we made it. Regina did really good walking along with other kids. She did complain that whe was tired but she made it. And then we had to take the same road back to the school. I did carry her about half the time, but it was no big deal. At least she is not that heavy yet( she is about 36 lbs now). Now I am home and resting. She was not very exited about museum because it had snakes in and I was not very exited about it because the old dude, who was our guide had horrible cold( he sayed so), So we tryed to keep as far from him as possible. Now I am heading out to do some shopping. I need some new clothes. I managed to loose 6 lbs within 2 weeks, and my shirts and pants are hanging kind of loose. :)

Claire, Regna and Nikki :)

-Claire-

We lost another our dear St Jude friend today. Claire Tatom passed away this morning 6 AM. We are sad and puzzled. I will post a picture later.
But here is the diary her family kept for her.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/tatomupdates/

Here are some of the decorated bikes from 4th of July parade:)

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!! This morning we all woke up 8.30 am. It never happens that kids sleep that long- NEVER. So I opened my eyes and started to panic. lol I wanted to take kids to our community park for parade and fun, but since we all slept in we missed the parade. THEN even bigger drama happened- Regina saw other kids eating sugar doughnuts, and when I went to get her some doghnuts from HUGE breakfast table all doughnuts were gone- there was about 10 empty boxes that hold 15 dougnuts. I went back to her and asked if she wanted to have chocolate muffin instead but she started crying and refused to eat anything else. Thank god for our great neighbors- he ( another 4 year old boy) was willing to share his sugar doughnut with Regina. But the morning was ruined. Regina was so mad at people , she told me that people were really mean, because they ate all the dougnuts and did not leave anything for her. lol Then we left the park( it is only 5 minute walk from us) and got back home. On our way home we met some other neighbors and they invited to use the bounce house and huge water slide they set up in the end of the street. So kids bounced for a while and now we are back inside and eating our lunch. After while we will go out again and bounce some more. :) Hope your 4th of July is happy :)