Thursday, January 27

Chinese Life.

China has been most interesting experience in my life.  I would like to say  that i LOVE CHINA, I love Chinese culture and I love learning chinese language, but that is far from truth.
Here are lot of fun and interesting things that make me go SAY WHAT? What just happened? HUH? Like for instance. It is NORMAL , that during rush hour car will stop in middle of intersection, because driver is simply confused and has no idea where to go. He /she stops for few minutes, IF he passed his exit, he  decides that it is OK to reverse his gear and  WEEEE all the way back to his exit.. YES< that is normal, and we all have to be ready for it ;)

Also, it is very normal to enter some building, and while opening door, someone pushes you away and enters before you. It is also NORMAL, to stand in line, and you feel other people pushing against you , like there is no space at all.  IT is ALSO very normal in airplanes. Before airplane stops  people stand up, take their carry on luggage out of storage and start pushing from back to front.  WHAT A LIFE:D

Now now to recent events. Chinese New Year is about to arrive. People are already going crazy buying gifts, tickets to their hometowns-- if you travel with train, don't leave it to last minute, simply because you may not get your ticket. Our Ayi's husband stood in line for 48 hours  for train ticket, and he got it but sadly his seats were in a wagon that has no toilet, water or heater... :(  48 hours?   I guess home calls. In comparison  our experience is different. we have money and can afford to fly, so it took my husband 5 minutes on phone and voilaaaa 3 tickets to Chungqing  were booked.  So yes, you heard it right. I am going to have REAL chinese spring festival/ new Years celebration with my hubbys family.
 Chinese   New year OR spring festival is the most important holiday in china. If you want to read more about it go to Wikipedia.

 We are going to spend 6 days with Nick family- Sister, brothers, father and then Nicks sister  Jinsong is coming to Beijing along with them comes Nicks brothers wife and her  3 year old daughter.   In a way I am excited , because it is new experience for me, but people who know me, KNOW that I can not handle family in large doses. And Nicks family is one of those Large families who gets together all the time and all they do is EAt, EAT, EAT and play Mahjong ( I dislike mahjong very much). I'd rather go to a movie, or  sit in a coffee house ( I start sounding like my husband). lol.

But yes, Be ready for BIGGER ME,  5 days of large chinese breakfasts, lunches and dinners and Beer will  leave a huge mark on my ass.. ;)

 Like I mentioned celebrations have already started. My husbands company had party in Hangzhou and I wanted to fly over there to see my co workers in action ;) Well.  Traditional chinese party consists of huge elaborate dinner ,  people usually don't dress up or make up,  who cares. I agree.  Dinner lasts about 3 hours -this time cold appetizers were some cold cuts, duck tongue , some weird fungus, bamboo shoots, pickles, etc.. Hot dishes included deep fried frogs, beef with french fries, deep fried duck ( my favorite) , slow cooked pork leg with chinese spices, , some chicken dish,and some weird fungus seafood soup. Food tasted great. Now fun part. Chinese dinners usually involve lot of drinking. IF YOU think Estonians and americans drink a lot, then think again.  Within  an hour  people toasted constantly, got drunk, threw up in restrooms, get back inside, drank again and ate more.  Toasting is part of Chinese dinner, and  all workers toasted with 3 big bosses. Nick his partner and our sales guy, who could not get my name out of his mind....   Chinese have thing for me... I am telling you ;)
After dinner we left dining area and entertainment part started. Almost all workers had prepared some  sort of entertainment piece- Some sang  karaoke, some told jokes, some read their favorite book, some made up some songs. Nick played his iPhone ( flute) amazing grace and told some sort of joke.   Since he is one of the big bosses people laughed ;) lol.  Also people won some raffle prizes 4 ipod shuffles, 2 Ipod touch and one Ipad. I was unlucky this time ;) I have great luck in love, so I did not complain much :D  It all ended around 11 PM and  all   left happily. BTW> the entertainment part did  not include any alcohol. I was bored. I thought I am going out to get myself chinese Rice wine or beer. All they served were sunflower seeds ( very normal in chinese events), tiny  clementines, lychee, and other fruit.  WTF?? Seriously. I needed some liquor. It all was in chinese, and I had to  stay somewhat sober to understand what was going on . Well, most likely next year I will entertain my fellow co workers, but this years   I refused to  do anything at all. ;)

Pictures here.

Monday, January 24

Happy New Year..

 Happy new year to you all. Luckily I am NOT late , since Chinese new year has not started yet;)

Again, lot of time has passed since last posting, and lot has happened.  Quick recap.
Gabriel and I spent our Holidays in Estonia. This year it was extremely difficult for me. I am not even sure why, but I was the WORST guest  this year. Nothing made me happy.   And If I was happy for a second or 2 , extreme sadness came over me and robbed every piece of  lightness and joy I felt.  I   avoided talking about Regina, because I knew It would break me even more  and put me into that deep dark hole.  Second Christmas without my girl and I miss her even more than before.   Scary.  She is physically gone from our lives but she is in MY mind, in Nicks mind and in Gabriels mind 24/7.   I saw her smiling face everywhere- making snow angels, trying out foods and making grinning face,  trying to communicate with her Estonian BFF Krissu,   Smiling, giggling... UGH..  
I have not been able to  separate Regina from our current events.  Nothing feels same, and I know it will never will, So HOW am I going to learn to live  without her?  Will I ever ? Where do I find the strength to do so?
Also, another Reason I am not speaking MY MIND about Regina and our issues with people who have not lost a  10 year old or 11 or 2 or 24 year old daugter/Son, BECAUSE,  I can't handle responses they are STILL giving me.. Oh, time willmake everything better, Don't worry, we understand,   Really, you still mourn, you still think about her ? etc. Some comments are acceptable, but I rather NOT feel that rush of anger towards people who  never experienced this kind of loss in their lives.   I can talk about my Sweet princess  HOURS, And HOURS, and HOURS, but seriously- who wants to hear same stories over and over and over again?   

Srry.. Got little carried away with my own little problems, that by now should not be problems at all..   BUT I am making little success .. I am already thinking about her more often and I am NOT afraid to think about happy times we had, questions she asked.  What I am afraid is-- EVERY time I think about those wonderful laughter filled times, It all ends with  her last hours with us.. And I remember her elevated  breathing, and heart rate,  and dark empty eyes,  her deep dark pupils, .. And it scares me ,  I can't forget those last hours,  It feels like it was yesterday.. 

Estonia was Great. I decided this year NOT to visit  Everyone. I mentioned couple of times where I am at, and if someone want's to see me , please come and see me.  I wan't to relax during my trips, and  plan my own time, and I feel like Estonia trips are like one big responsibility- I have to see this and that and third person because they are relatives and will be upset..  Well, too bad.  I will be upset, if I can't see that and that and that person, because  I wan't to be happy to;)  So I wen't to places I wanted, did what I needed to do. ;) Gabriel had fun. I do go to Estonia mostly because of Gabriel, his grandparents,   my sister, my brother. At least he gets to see them :D

...To be continued...